blogging is for lovers

I am out of here

2009-11-17T07:17:00.000-08:00

I am moving to Wordpress. Come find me! www.bloggingisforlovers.wordpress.com

Asking for trouble

2009-11-13T08:56:00.001-08:00

So I'm feeling kinda overcommitted in my life right now, hence the neglect of this sad little blog. A couple of weeks ago I thought, Hey, I should do that NaNoBloMo thing. And then I thought, No way. That would just be asking for trouble. But, I'm only a few weeks away from escaping The Busiest Fall of My Life and then maybe I'll pull myself back together and this blog along with me. We shall see. A couple of the topics (I hope) to come:

Baking something with the persimmons Fresh Abundance delivered a couple of weeks ago (if they are even still edible at this point, eek)
Muggle Quidditch (I'm writing an article about this for the Inlander this weekend, yay, but that's just one more aspect of my overcommittment, boo, but it's worth it, right?)
Parks and Recreation, which has totally shaken itself out of the awkwardness of last year and become a complete delight
Details about our upcoming bargain vacation to Disneyland! Here's a photo of us in Disney World from our trip to Florida last Thanksgiving, to get everyone in the Disney mood. Brad and I dressed in matching outfits so that our mom could find us easily if we ran off and got separated.

Actually, the truth is, we didn't realize we had worn matching outfits until we looked at these pictures. Isn't that adorable?? No. No, it isn't.

Look no further

2009-11-05T07:36:00.000-08:00

Mostly for my own entertainment, here are a few more of the phrases people searched for that led them to my blog. All typos and general weirdness have been left intact.

"aches and pains all over"
"best comment word;is for lovers"
"describe an ideal day an shopping"
"is a neibor stareing for hours stalking"
"who did rory end up with on the series finale"
"lovers anniversary blog"
"fembot blogspot"
"happy birth day questions for lovers"

Don't bore Nina!

2009-10-30T10:09:00.000-07:00

Is it me, or is the current season of Project Runway totally boring? I still watch, but I just don't care. Their clothes seem so-so -- not much is shocking, except occasionally for how BAD it is (skanky hot pants?! 30 yards of white ruffles?!). Could this be because the season was filmed so long before it aired? Carol Hannah's dress pockets, for example, don't seem like a big deal now, because pockets have swept the nation over the past year. Maybe what once would have seemed inventive now looks like old news. But, that doesn't address my other issue: there's not much fun conflict. Irina is bitchy, Carol Hannah is super cute, and Althea has giant 80s hair and a complementary wardrobe. But it just feels like it's missing something. Maybe a guest appearance by Wendy Pepper would help?

Butternut disaster

2009-10-24T08:39:00.000-07:00

Last night was the second time Brad and I and our friends Joel and Bekka met for dinner party club (man, we really need to think more about what to call this - really, "dinner party club"? Ew). Since Bekka and I cooked last time Brad and Joel were up yesterday. When I came home in the afternoon I peeked in Brad's grocery bag and was a little bit shocked to see not pizza dough or hamburger buns or taco shells, but butternut squash, red onion, and artisan bread. I had been wondering how things would turn out, because we have two guys who eat meat and don't do much cooking, and two girls who don't and love to cook, but the groceries showed a lot of potential for vegetarian delights.

When Bekka and Joel got here the ladies sat at the table eating an appetizer of bread and several bread dipping options served in ramekins (Brad: "Joel, we're going to put this stuff in ramekins." Joel: "A ramekin? What's a ramekin?" Bekka: "Joel, you know, like the big white one I have." Joel: "A ramekin? What's that?" Repeat.) I had just decided to get out the camera and take a picture of the boys in the kitchen when, while attempting to peel the squash, Brad sliced his whole finger off.

It wasn't really his whole finger, but a pretty serious, very gushy cut in his left middle finger. Squash fell on the ground, Bekka and I ran around looking for bandages and tape, and Joel examined the wound. It bled a lot for a while, and then they ended up wrapping it tightly in gauze and securing it with duct tape.

Of course this would be the one month of our entire lives when Brad doesn't have health insurance. That's right: this is the one time EVER that Brad hasn't had medical insurance. He's in an off month between being covered through his old job and the new one, and when he went to apply for temporary coverage to get him through October, he was already past the deadline, so here we are, just waiting for November 1. Joel thought he might possibly "need a stitch." Would we have seriously considered the possibility of stitches if he were covered this month? I think so. It was bleeding a lot. But knowing it's 8 pm on a Friday night and the only thing open is probably the super expensive emergency room limits what you're willing to seriously consider.

Very professional bandaging

For the time being dinner preparations just went on. I jumped in and did some quick peeling of the squash while all of the chaos was going on, and then got out of the kitchen so the guys could finish up. They made Warm Butternut Squash and Chickpea Salad (as seen on Smitten Kitchen, who got it from Orangette, who got it from somewhere else), and it was DELICIOUS. The tahini dessing is fantastic. Everything about it is fantastic. Except that there aren't any leftovers for me to eat today.

Ramekins!

This salad might cost you a finger, but it's worth it

For dessert we ate brownies and ice cream, and then Bekka and I went to the store and bought some New-Skin, and when we woke up this morning Brad's finger was still attached - so far, so good. Because if he loses a digit over peeling squash for dinner party club, it could really cast a pall over the whole operation.

So hot right now

2009-10-20T14:36:00.000-07:00

Have you lost the pulse of pop culture? Me too, but I'm pretending I'm on it. Things I'm loving right now:

Ben Folds, who we saw perform with the Spokane Symphony on Sunday at The Fox. So fun! So much orchestration! And I loved the disjointed crowd - the dressy symphony season ticket holders, intermingled with the uber casual Ben Folds fans pleading for Folds to "Rock this bitch!"

The September Issue - holy cow, what a cool insider's view of the life of Vogue, Anna Wintour and her insanely far-reaching influence over the world of fashion, and the Creative Director, Grace Coddington, who's more of a free-spirited artist in the commercial world. It's really great. My brain can't even contain all of that fashion.

Mad Men, Mad Men, Mad Men. Beautiful, quiet, informative, heartbreaking, often hilarious. Keep your eyes out for riding lawnmowers - not for indoor use.

Where the Wild Things Are - it looks perfect, the music is great, the characters are developed and believable and sad and funny. For what it's worth, I think it really captures the destructive yet cuddly yet angry yet loving yet stubborn yet dependent nature of boyhood like nothing else I've seen. Of course I'm an outsider when it comes to boyhood, but from what I've observed, this movie really nails it.

Avant garde marketing

2009-10-16T18:58:00.000-07:00

Today I received an issue of Gourmet (a magazine I've never subscribed to) in the mail. Every so often I receive just such an unsolicited magazine. I'm assuming that's because I'm part of X magazine's target audience and they want to lure me into becoming a subscriber to X by flaunting all of its goodness in my face. But that's not really an option with Gourmet, since they're on their way out - the November issue, which I received today, is their last. And here's the kicker: the magazine was wrapped in plastic, and inside the plastic was a piece of paper that says this:

"Give the gift of Gourmet - only $4....Use the Card [yes, they capitalized Card, but I won't dwell on that] below to send a holiday gift to your favorite epicurean!" The detachable card shows all of the rates and options (12 issues, 24 issues) and even has a "Bill me after Jan. 1" option.

What is this all about?! Were these all bundled up and ready to go before Conde Nast announced the closing of the magazine and they just decided, "Who cares that we're promoting lies? We're sending them!"? Because a lot of people might take this offer and send in their little Cards. And then Conde Nast or whoever deals with these things is really going to have a mess on their hands. I think current subscribers are being bumped to Bon Appetit, or something like that. They'd have to do some serious bait and switch with any newbies.

The sad thing is, I really like what I see in the magazine. If they weren't already out of here, they might have won me over. Bad timing, I guess.

Big day

2009-10-15T10:44:00.000-07:00

So yesterday was the first day of the last year of my twenties. I think that is what is called a mind f. Getting older is the weirdest thing. It hurts my brain to think about how time passes and how I feel young and grown up and accomplished and unsettled all at the same time, and I know that's not going to stop, ever, even when I turn 500. Time is weird. But everybody knows that. And I feel like turning 29 is a bigger deal than turning 30 somehow, because 29 is the last of something, and 30 is the beginning. And I also feel like, who even cares how old I am or any of this thinking I'm doing right now? Let's all just spend a few minutes celebrating me!

And that is what we did yesterday. Because I am such a mature and responsible lady, I spent most of the day working from home and then writing essays (for school) from a coffee shop. But I really went crazy at the coffee shop, and instead of just buying a cup of coffee, I treated myself to a whole bowl of soup. On my birthday I really go nuts.

Then last night we went to dinner at Mizuna with Bekka and Joel, sometimes known as Lady B and Gentleman J. I had never been there for dinner before and it was great. They have a huge vegetarian menu, which meant that there were like five whole entrees I could choose between. I was in the lap of luxury. And our super cooky server took $6 off a really nice glass of wine in honor of my big day. The only downside of the Mizuna experience was that the same cooky waitress (can I still say waitress? do I have to say server? I'm not going to) knew it was my birthday, and when we were ready to leave came over and looked at me and said, "If I were you, I'd stick around for about ten minutes or so, if you know what I mean," POINTED LOOK. So we're all thinking, ooh, birthday treats to come for me! Dessert, etc. But here's what happens: she leaves us alone for about twenty minutes, and then gives us the bill. No dessert or mention of the fact she'd asked us to stick around. Happy birthday!

But Brad and I took care of the dessert thing by wandering over to the mall and getting some Oatmeal Cookie Chunk ice cream at Ben and Jerry's before he took me to see The September Issue. Ice cream=my favorite thing. Fashion documentary=fascinating. Me=so, so old, but having a very nice life.

There is more to life than food...

2009-10-13T06:28:00.001-07:00

...But apparently that's all I want to blog about. First, a quick Fresh Abundance update: I forgot to order my fourth variety box last week. But I still had a few things left from previous weeks (potatoes and yams, a couple of pears, celery, onion, a couple of peppers, Swiss chard), so I made a delicious minestrone out of most of that stuff (no pears or potatoes or yams) with a recipe I modified a lot out of Gourmet. Because really, I just don't have two hours to spend on soup most days. I also don't eat pancetta. So instead of cooking the first group of ingredients (through chard stems) for a leisurely 45 minutes, I went with about 15. The soup was still delicious. In your face, Gourmet! Maybe a few tips from me would have saved your little magazine.

That was a joke.

And on to the main event! Cookies. I made some flourless oatmeal cookies last week and they were a big hit. I was a little nervous because I hadn't gotten to taste the cookies before I brought them to class the night I baked them, but they were very popular and also, I am in love with them. I made about 50 cookies with the amount of ingredients shown below. The original recipe is for "monster cookies" but I think mine were just people-sized cookies. I also used a combination of white and dark chocolate chips instead of other chocolate candies - and I'm pretty sure I used WAYYYYYYYYY more than the one cup originally called for. Probably more like one cup of each kind of chocolate. Probably more like one cup of chocolate per cookie. Brad and I ate every single cookie that I didn't take to class, too - and that doesn't usually happen. If you knew for certain that there were no traces of gluten in your oats (like Bob's Red Mill, or quelque chose comme ca), these would also be officially gluten free.

Peanut Butter Oatmeal Monster Cookies
About 4 dozen cookies

1/2 cup (1 stick) butter, slightly softened
1 1/2 cups creamy natural peanut butter, well-mixed
1 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup white sugar
3 eggs
1 tablespoon vanilla
2 teaspoons baking soda
4 1/2 cups old fashioned oats
About 2+ cup chocolate or mix-ins (follow your heart)

Preheat oven to 350F and line two large cookie sheets with parchment paper (or Silpat).

Cream butter, peanut butter, and sugars. Beat in eggs and vanilla. Beat in baking soda, then oatmeal and mix-ins.

Drop onto cookie sheets with an ice cream scoop and flatten slightly. Bake at 350F for 8-10 minutes or until done. Do not overbake! Don't you dare!

Remove from oven when slightly golden. Let cool on the sheets for a few minutes until they have firmed up enough to remove to wire racks.

A bloggy deal

2009-10-07T06:27:00.000-07:00

Here's what I just learned from my blog stats:

Most readers come from the U.S. The country with the next highest number of readers? Obviously, Brazil!

Searches that have brought people to my site:

"dressing up for sporting events" (like that has ever happened!)
"zaftig veronica mars" (excuse me??)
"doesn't that sound nice" (there's a nice, specific search, holy cow)
"one year anniversary for lovers" (I recommend Vermont)
"rory logan goodbye" (that might make a nice subtitle for part of the episode, robot)

And my favorite:

"I'm a fembot" (you ARE? So is Francie!)

True love

2009-10-03T15:13:00.001-07:00

Brad and I saw Paper Heart at the Magic Lantern a couple of nights ago. This is a super quirky doc(mock?)umentary featuring super quirky comedian/musician Charlyne Yi and the ever-adorable Michael Cera (directed by Nicholas Jasenovek). The premise of the documentary is that Charlyne doesn't believe she is capable of love (specifically, of being "in love") and so takes a bunch of trips all over the country to talk with regular people, scholars, romance novel writers, and others about their experiences with and understanding of love. Along the way she and Michael Cera meet at a party in L.A. and start dating, which then becomes part of the documentary, because HOLY COW, if Charlyne is finally finding love as we're making a documentary about Charlyne not being able to love like other people, we better capture that on film! Hope that doesn't cause any conflict in their tender young love!

Something about the way their relationship plays out doesn't really ring true (and I don't even think they intend for it to, and also some say they'd been dating for years before this came out), but it doesn't really matter. The documentary is quirky (have I mentioned it is quirky?), funny, occasionally touching/cute/sweet, and worth checking out.

Rings like trees

2009-09-29T15:38:00.001-07:00

Well world, I am way into my second produce variety box, and you know what that means: I just ate my first beet ever. I roasted beets in the oven today, how crazy is that? My only real beet knowledge comes from seeing them dying in their own sick bloody juice in salad bars. They have always looked way too disgusting to consider eating. But I decided that I'll try everything that comes in my variety box, so today, it's beets.

The one I just ate was golden yellow inside, and a little bit sweet, with texture kind of like a cooked carrot. It was very pretty and I sliced it into little circles. Also, apparently beets have rings, like trees. Mine was six years old.

(Note: I didn't put my beets in the refrigerator for a few days after I received them, because I thought they should be stored in a cool dark cupboard like potatoes are, but I was so very wrong about that; they're supposed to be refrigerated. So there is a chance that my mis-storage altered the way they turned out. Who can say for sure?! Produce is so exciting!)

I am doing other things besides dedicating my life to local abundance (which is an experiment that may die off at some point, although I hope not). School has started again (and I am taking an EEK SCARY POETRY WORKSHOP, among other things), and this is a really busy time at work, so I won't be blogging nearly as often for a while, although hopefully more than once a week. We'll see.

My bizarro best

2009-09-23T20:37:00.000-07:00

Last week I signed up for a produce box, delivered to my home for free, from Fresh Abundance. This is something I did a couple of times about a year and a half ago, and loved and thought I would continue to do forever and ever, with one "variety" box of produce (a.k.a. seasonal grab bag, selected by Fresh Abundance, not me) arriving on my doorstep every Friday. Well, I did it exactly twice and then forsook Fresh Abundance altogether, probably because it's not exactly cheap. A variety box costs $35. To me, this was too big a chunk of our ideal grocery budget.

But recently I've been doing some thinking, and here's what that thinking has revealed: I think most of my diet should come from things that grow in from the ground: fruits, vegetables, nuts, seeds, whole grains, beans, etc. Not EVERYTHING. Oh no, let's not get crazy. I'm going to eat cheese and eggs and ice cream. But if, as most health/diet experts would advise, I made the majority of my diet fruits and vegetables (really good, local, in-season ones), those fruits and vegetables should probably merit a big chunk of my food budget.

So, back to my variety box. I got a lot for my $35, all of it organic, most of it local. I'll list everything just so that you can take in the vast majesty of it.

3 apples
2 oranges
a whole bunch of the best nectarines I've ever had
a few peaches
a few bunches of grapes
several pluots
two pears
one head of red cabbage
one giant head of romaine
one HUGE onion
2 potatoes
3 or 4 carrots (THE BEST CARROTS OF MY LIFE)
a bag of green beans
a red pepper
a jalepeno
another unidentified pepper; it is tiny, which makes me think it might burn my mouth off
a gigantic bunch of cilantro
a ginormous bag of tomatoes

This is a lot of produce, way more than I would normally eat in a week. But I am trying, and it's been fun for me, and so I keep looking for recipes that will use some combination of the menagerie of abundance I have here. Last night I made Indian food with potatoes and onion and carrots and peppers and coconut milk and spices, and served it with quinoa and a lot of cilantro (which I thought I HATED, I must add, but it is so good with Indian food, apparently), and it was fantastico.

Other times, I just get panicky at the thought of all the produce in my refrigerator and start flinging things together into bowls and eating them. Which brings me to the weirdest ever BEST FOOD EVER.

Sarah's Bizarro Cabbage and Bean Salad
Now, the reason why this is so freaking bizarro to me is because I thought I didn't really like cabbage, especially not purple (or red) cabbage, especially not as the star ingredient in anything. In fact, yesterday, I was so unconfident in what I made that when I was eating at work I hid it from view whenever anyone passed by, to avoid scorn and ridicule. But, omg, it is delicious, with the best texture and flavor. I am in love with my bizarro salad. I'm in love, I'm in love, and I don't care who knows it!

Ingredients:
3/4 cup chickpeas or kidney beans
1 cup chopped red cabbage
some chopped olives
lemon juice
olive oil
sriracha
sunflower seeds
feta

So, you simply and wonderfully combine everything through olives, put in some lemon juice, olive oil, and sriracha to taste, top it all with a little bit of feta and a handful of sunflower seeds, and then indulge in the surprise treat of your life.

Growing up

2009-09-21T06:24:00.000-07:00

My brother was here visiting last week, for the first time in three years. Not that I haven't seen him in three years, just not in the Inland Empire. So, we spent a lot of time talking and lounging and playing Rock Band and eating and watching TV both good and bad and generally staying up a little later than I normally would, and sleeping in. On weekdays I get up at 6 and for me sleeping in is something like getting up at the ripe old hour of 8:30, but when I asked Ty what time he usually wakes up he said, "Ohhhhh, I don't know. Sometime between 10 and 11." Because he stays up late doing things like playing in three bands and planning a beautifully nomadic trip to South America, and I stay up "late" editing church newsletters and working on my thesis. And so when he said 10 or 11, I thought, oh good, because that meant I could sleep in AND sneak around getting things done in the morning and avoid being a mega boring married work machine during his waking hours.

So one morning at around 9:45 I called Brad's mom to check on a few things, including how those muffins I made recently were treating her. And as a mega boring married work machine I thought, hey, while I'm on the phone, why don't I sweep the house?! Our brooms and dustpans and mops and Swiffer-type things are all hanging in the stairwell that leads straight to where my brother was sleeping, so I knew I'd have to gather that broom very quietly. So I tucked the phone between my shoulder and ear, slowly opened the door at the top of the stairs, took the broom off the hook, and promptly bumped the mop hanging next door, which in turn knocked EVERY SINGLE OTHER MOP, SWIFFER, DUSTPAN, ETC. clattering and thundering and colliding down the entire flight of stairs, where they landed within several feet of the couch where Ty slept.

Or so I thought. It turns out that he had woken up a little bit early and was watching back-to-back episodes of Top Chef. Meaning, I was upstairs being boring and worried about keeping quiet, and he was being just as boring downstairs. So he put all of the brooms and dustpans and mops away and came upstairs, and I made him watch The Rachel Zoe Project for a while before we went to a coffee shop, where I did boring work stuff and my co-grown-up did the New York Times crossword puzzle.

Muffin man

2009-09-09T21:55:00.000-07:00

Last night I spent a few hours as the muffin man, baking about six dozen. Some for my mother-in-law, some for a staff meeting, and a few little baby leftovers for me and Brad. I made some pumpkin ones which were decent, not great, but the others are what I need to share with the world. These strawberry cinnamon muffins are soooooo so so good. Normally, I believe that any food thing with some semi-liquidy food thing lurking in the middle is at best questionable (Cadbury Creme Eggs) and at worst DISGUSTING (Gushers). But these have jam in the middle, and that very jam is a pure delight. I'd also like to note that these are low fat, if you care about that sort of thing. Please, treasure them.

Note: a good blogger would post a picture to really sell you on these muffins. I am not that blogger.

Happy birthday

2009-09-03T06:27:00.000-07:00

Good morning world,

After that oh-so-bloggy last post, I had to stop blogging for a few days. But I'm over it now. And today is a very important day. It is the birthday of my most faithful of readers, Miss Danyeal Jones. Danyeal is a Johnny-Flynn-loving, Emmy-godmothering, world-traveling, barefoot-in-the-summertime best friend of mine since junior high whose history is littered with terrible birthdays. I hope that someday we will live together in the same city. Happy birthday, Danyeal!

What blogs are for

2009-08-30T22:36:00.001-07:00

Thoughts on my weekend (ohhhh, openings like that are what blogs are all about!)

I Love You Man is mostly not that funny, but the Andy Samberg parts are.
I don't want any more of my friends to move to the Tri Cities.
I was wrong when I said I was acclimated to hot summer weather. It is disgusting.

The neat freak

2009-08-29T23:27:00.001-07:00

Fact: Emmy hates being dirty. She cleans her paws and face like a cat, will go awkwardly out of her way to avoid mud puddles, and won't even let sprinkler water touch her sensitive hide. But for reasons unknown, about once a year, our meticulously clean little dog finds something incredibly disgusting and gets it all over her petite self. Last year, she rolled in some sort of unnamed animal poop while she and Brad were vacationing at Priest Lake and had to have a bath, immediately. Since they weren't at home Brad had to use Head and Shoulders instead of dog shampoo, and she's been flake free ever since.

Two days ago, Brad and I took Emmy for a walk and for some bizarro reason, she rolled in a bunch of overripe plums. She smashed so much onto the top of her head that it seemed like she had covered it in gel, and it looked like she had gashes of plum blood on the sides of her body. When we got home she jumped onto the couch right away and I shrieked because I didn't want plum blood on it, but it turns out that all of the plum had hardened, much like hair gel, and was no longer leaving stains. So, it was into the bathtub with Emmy again, but this time she had her Pina Colada doggie shampoo.

She can be a little bit annoying sometimes, but even in the midst of that she always makes me laugh, and there is just nothing nicer than having a little dog live with us. Even when she gets water in her beard and drips it all over the kitchen floor, every day. Even when she jumped up to pick plums out of our backyard tree and broke her foot and had to be taken to the doggie emergency room. And especially when she greeted us at the front door one night with such an excited wag of the tail that the vet officially diagnosed her with a tail sprain. That's love.

A night of fashion

2009-08-28T08:21:00.001-07:00

Whoops, I fell asleep early last night and forgot to post. Or, to be more accurate: I fell asleep from about 9 until 10, when I of course woke right up and watched Project Runway before falling immediately back asleep at 11, only to be cruelly (I thought at the time, but soon changed my mind) awoken by Brad at some point between 11:30 and midnight to watch a little segment on Conan called "Puppies Dressed as Cats." Omg, omg.

Anybody?

2009-08-26T20:14:00.001-07:00

My rule for the rest of the summer (a.k.a. the few weeks I have left to draft essays for my thesis before school starts): I will not panic. So far, my approach to thesis writing is the same as my approach to most important and complex things requiring careful thinking mixed with bursts of creativity. Things which will ultimately be evaluated based on their quality. My pattern: thinking about big things that need to get done, deciding that it’s really unlikely that I can ever do them justice in the time allotted, procrastinating because the potential for failure or mediocrity is just too great, making some un-thoughtful, blind stabs at work that I end up tossing, feeling confirmed in my fears of mediocrity because my panic-induced attempts have turned out poorly, spending a lot of time moping about the fact that I'm not getting anything done, making lists of ways to start getting things done, worrying more about how badly things could all turn out if I don't hurry up and finally do something, repeat, repeat, repeat.

And then: in the last little smidgen of an inch of time remaining, I buckle down and rapidly turn out exactly the necessary amount of work, and whatever I was supposed to do turns out just fine, or better. Just IMAGINE what would happen if I would use all of that time for thinking and daydreaming or playing or brainstorming or praying or pondering instead of worrying and mulling and psyching myself out.

PS: This post is not intended to be a pity party. I'm just thinking. And I'm assuming I'm not the only one out there like this. :) This emoticon welcomes you to Procrastination Nation.

In all its glory

2009-08-25T21:52:00.000-07:00

My flower garden is looking remarkably good this year. Not good for someone who has the patience and knowledge and instinct to actually be a gardener, but good for someone who likes blithely planting things in the spring and leaving them to fare for themselves through the heat of the summer. Is that not how this is supposed to work?

In all its glory.

The gigantic blossom of my indomitable Butterfly Bush.

Snapdragons, living large. I have to confess though that about 3/4 of the snapdragons I planted died within a week. And maybe because of that fact, I'm a little extra pleased with what's going on here.

What I would like

2009-08-24T22:28:00.000-07:00

The perfect concert-going earplugs. They must:

Protect my precious, button-sized ears from hearing loss
Look inconspicuous, a.k.a. not fluorescent, giant, etc.
Not block so much sound that, as Brad would say, "It's like I'm listening to this concert on my ipod in a coffee shop."

I know such things exist. Who will help me find them? Note: my ears are smaller than normal ears, which sometimes leads to fit issues. So, keep that in mind as you're out there shopping my troubles away.

Best food ever, Bellingham edition

2009-08-23T21:24:00.000-07:00

There are always a few things Brad and I HAVE to do while we're in Bellingham, and when we make a list of those things, food we must eat usually makes up about two thirds of it. So, I ate all sorts of good things - pizza at Rudy's, a burrito at Taco Lobo on my first-ever visit there, and a shockingly good cupcake (because really, you usually know what you're going to get with a chocolate cupcake, but this one was outstanding) from a new-to-me, oh so hip and trendy cupcake place in Fairhaven. Have I mentioned that I want to open my own cupcake place? Well, I do. Anyway, I ate a lot of good things, but there were three highlights.

1. Yam Alechiladas from Boundary Bay
When we were living in Bellingham I don't think that Boundary Bay served a huge menu of delicious food like they do now, because I think the first time I ate there was two years ago. This time I got their yam alechiladas (which I'm sure means that the enchilada sauce is enhanced by a little Boundary Bay ale), and they are really, really, really, really good. I wasn't expecting something amazing, but they are amazing. I wish I had taken a picture or something so that I could remember what exactly made me so enamored of them. But I'll just say that if I recall correctly (I am a great food writer!), they are spicy, a little bit sweet (but not too sweet, oh no), full of yams and beans and cheese and sauce, and garnished with some salsa and sour cream.

2. The Cookies 'n' Cream ice cream at Mallard's.
Now, much like the really good cupcake I ate, I was not expecting to fall in love with something so run-of-the-mill (and something I so frequently consume) as cookies and cream ice cream. But it was so good, with huge cookie chunks and (shock!) sweet, creamy vanilla ice cream. I can't put my finger on why, but it is just better than other cookies and cream. I ate said ice cream right after I ate way too much of my enchiladas. Totally worth it. You have to sacrifice for the things you love.

3. Cinnamon Chip bread from Great Harvest.
I don't know if this is offered at other Great Harvests in the world (it's not in Spokane), but at Bellingham's Great Harvest they have this cinnamon chip bread that comes as a round loaf with this, shall we say, crust of cinnamon sugar on top. My longtime college roommate and sometime soul mate Kathryn introduced me to this delight, which is, more specifically, fantastic bread with little pockets of cinnamon and sugar sprinkled throughout and that addictive crust on top. I hadn't had any of this delicacy in years, but while Brad was spending way too long at Everyday Music (formerly Cellophane Square), I thought I should take a walk up to Great Harvest to see if Saturday was one of their Cinnamon Chip days (because a bread this good can't be put out each and every day, or people in the know would go crazy - it must be released in small, regulated doses). And it was just such a day. The bread was better than I remembered it, and Brad and I snacked on it for three days, even sneaking it into international waters on our ferry ride to Canada.

Party people

2009-08-22T22:22:00.000-07:00

I just got back from the second ten-year reunion I've attended in a three-week period. Sorry Bothell High class of '99, but Lewis and Clark is the clear winner in party planning. Probably because there wasn't much planning involved at all with LC's - it was super casual, at a bar, no tickets to buy, no name tags to make ahead of time, no elaborate skits featuring masked friends wearing cougar costumes, etc. This kind of party was just more my style. They didn't try very hard, and that took the edge off.

The highlight of my night was probably when a high school friend of Brad's, a guy I had first met about half an hour earlier, came up to me and asked if I was having a good time. I said, "Yeah, this is the best night of my life." Which made him laugh a lot. So we chitchatted for a minute and then he goes, "OK. So how can we turn this around? Do you know any jokes?" And I don't really, so I told him so. So THEN he starts TELLING ME DIRTY JOKES! And high five-ing me after them! And I'm a stranger to him basically, and I feel like he shouldn't want to offend me or something, as the wife of his high school buddy Brad, and I'm laughing like a maniac, not at the jokes, but just the freaking weirdness of it all. I hope he's got some new dirty material ready by the time the twenty-year rolls around. Apparently I love that stuff.

Dinner party

2009-08-21T23:53:00.000-07:00

Tonight my friend Bekka and I (hi Bekka!), along with Bekka's boyfriend Joel and of course Brad, had our first of many dinner club parties together (I don't know what we're really going to call this, but that name was super awkward). Bekka and I cooked this time, while Brad and Joel immersed themselves in the world of Whale Wars in the living room, because we are domestic goddesses, and they are big nerds. We made the Anasazi Bean Burgers, as seen at such places as The Elk, Moon Time, etc. (except we made them with black beans instead of the elusive Anasazi), roasted red potatoes, and a really good quinoa salad/pilaf type thing, with red bell peppers and tomatoes and zucchini in it. I wish I could tell you more about the quinoa, but Bekka was the mastermind for that part of the evening and I really don't know what all went on. However, the bean burgers are REALLY GOOD and REALLY EASY (although they took about 473892 years tonight since I never read recipes well enough beforehand to really know what's going on), and the roasted potatoes were perfect.

And then we played Settlers of Catan, which is a nerdy-sounding game, and it IS nerdy. But playing it is less nerdy than when, after Joel finally won (after about, oh, two hours), he and Brad started chanting "King! Of! Catan!" and doing their Harry Caray impressions. Dinner party club is going to be great.

Summertime travels

2009-08-20T20:53:00.000-07:00

Brad and I got back yesterday from our little summer vacation: Bothell and Seattle for a Mariner game, a few days in our beloved Bellingham, and then off to Victoria, BC to revel in queenery (I made that word up). Now, what I am about to attempt to do is this: upload and post some pictures from our trip on this very blog! This should not be very complicated. However, I tried to post some pictures of my flower garden last week and it ended in disaster, with a cluster of five tiny photos, out of order, at the top of my screen, and no way to write words around them or put them in the right order. So, here we go.

We went to the Mariners vs. Yankees game on Thursday. Yawn! Every time I go to a baseball game I bequeath the responsibility of protecting my head from a fly ball on someone who will actually be watching the game, since I know my attention will drift to daydreaming and people watching after the first inning. Brad agreed to be my protector, and I survived unscathed.

Shortly before this picture was taken, I spent half an hour hiding out at the Mariner Team Store buying Brad that hat. He asked me, "What's better? Standing in line at the team store, or watching the game?" The answer was obvious.

We were in Bellingham from Friday until Sunday morning, and we spent a large chunk of Saturday reading books at Boulevard Park. I can't tell you how much I love Bellingham. It makes me happy just being there. On both of my Bellingham mornings I woke up and ran and ran and ran along the Interurban Trail and just loved being alive. Someday we will move back.

One of the things I pride myself on is my fine photography. This is probably most evident in the "glamour shots" I take of Brad. Just look at that face. He can't get enough.

We did a drive by tour of our former Bellingham homes. This lovely abode in the York District neighbors Nelson's Market and was my home for two years. It used to be green. Now it features red paint, a boat trailer, and a heavenly anointing of light.

Brad's cousin Staci is great and let us stay at her house in Bellingham. We had a lot of fun with her, and on our last night we all went to the Archer Ale House to play the aforementioned dart game we made up, Shrauge (the artful combination of Staci's last name, Shrum, and our last name, Hauge, obviously).

Brad, mere moments after his humiliating defeat. Good job Staci!

Game faces. Shrauge is not a game for the fainthearted.

And after we ate at all of our favorite places (EXCEPT LEMON GRASS! Lemon Grass is closed! Why didn't anybody tell me?!), met up with friends, browsed the farmers' market and bookstore, and mastered the art of darts, we ferried over to Victoria for a couple of days. It was great to just sit around the harbor and watch the boats and seaplanes (did that sentence not just make me sound about 70 years old?). We went to a great concert (Manchester Orchestra and Silversun Pickups, plus a little Cage the Elephant for good measure), and just loved being on the water and out of town.

The harbor.

And, I hereby proclaim myself the master of adding photos to my blog! I finally did it. I have entered the space age.

Queen of darts

2009-08-15T23:45:00.000-07:00

We are moving on from Bellingham tomorrow and going to Victoria, so, goodbye forever! Or maybe we will have ample internet access and no goodbyes will be necessary. Who knows what might happen while we're visiting America's hat?

Tonight we spent a long, long time at the Archer Ale House. Brad totally dominated Staci and me in the first two rounds of darts. HOWEVER, Staci won the third round with a whopping 308 points (we played to 301 - is that completely weird? we made up a bunch of rules and then taught those made-up rules to a bunch of drunken 60-year-olds, who proceeded to break them left and right). And guess who came in with triple digits each round? Yes, that's right. Me. Queen of darts. 200 points behind my competitors, but what sportsmanship I displayed.

Bellingham

2009-08-14T23:20:00.000-07:00

Brad and I are back in Bellingham for the weekend and, as usual, as soon as I got here I wondered why I ever left. Today we spent forever browsing at Village Books, wandered around Fairhaven, ate way too big of a delicious dinner at Boundary Bay (Yam Alechiladas = ! My Yam Alechiladas are like, whoa), ate even more when we got ice cream at Mallard's after dinner, walked along the water (where I took "glamour shots" of Brad), and then capped it all off by lounging around at his cousin Staci's house watching The Soup. Tomorrow I'll run at one of my favorite places, check out the giant farmers market, meet some buddies for Rudy's pizza, and laze about at Boulevard. And all the while I'll be recycling like a mad woman and watching out for the millions of bicyclists racing all over the place. Oh, Bellingham. Every time I get here I realize just how much I've missed it.

When the weather is high

2009-08-13T23:29:00.001-07:00

Every summer Brad and I choose a "summer project." Our projects (I love calling these projects, which makes something very fun sound very strenuous and admirable) are TV shows that we've heard are great but that we never saw in "real time" and which we can rent on DVD and watch in every waking hour all summer long. Our current year's undertaking is Alias, as I can't stop mentioning all the time because I love it. Past projects have included LOST, Veronica Mars, Battlestar Galactica, Friday Night Lights, and Mad Men. It's a kind of silly thing, but I have come to love this little summertime tradition of ours. It's nice to have the leisure time to get wrapped in the world of a really good series, and it's fun to theorize and speculate with Brad about the characters' fates as we hide out in our basement on the way too hot summer days.

In fact, I'm already starting to think about the series we should take on next time. Any recommendations for a great series to watch on DVD? I've thought about The Wire, and Six Feet Under. I tend to go for the hour-long dramas, but you might be able to sell me on a sitcom.

Magically modified spicy soba noodles

2009-08-12T23:20:00.000-07:00

It's that magical time again: BEST FOOD EVER!

So, on Tuesday I made something that was so very delicious that I had to write down notes immediately, lest I forget my night of total kitchen deftness and not be able to re-create this ever again. I started with a recipe from Smitten Kitchen for spicy soba noodles. But, I made some modifications here and there, because of my deftness, and because Albertsons does not have green onions! Who is manning the store over there? Seriously.

Sarah's Magically Modified Spicy Soba Noodles
(although this spontaneous title might imply otherwise, this meal is not drug induced)

Sauce

1/3 C water
1/3 C soy sauce
a few squeezes worth of Sriracha (I'd recommend doing this to taste, for those spice babies out there)
1 T packed brown sugar

Everything Else

1/4 C (or so) unsalted peanuts, shelled
2 T minced giner
1 T minced garlic (2-3 cloves)
4-5 largeish mushrooms, sliced
some red onion, chopped or minced (I used about 1/4 of a large onion)
2 eggs
1/2 bag of prepackaged slaw mix (or just use a regular old head of cabbage - I had leftovers from yesterday, but I liked the mix because it had some carrot and radicchio in it)
1 package soba noodles (mine were from the refrigerated section of the grocery store)

So, here's what you do. First, make the sauce. Combine the sauce ingredients in a small sauce pan over medium, until the sugar is dissolved; remove from heat and set aside.

In a skillet of sorts, heat the peanuts for a few minutes until they're golden brown. (You could also stick them in the oven for a few minutes.) Set aside. Put a little bit of oil in the pan, and add the ginger and garlic. Saute for a minute or so. Add the mushrooms and the red onions and cook for about 5-6 minutes.

Then, scoot everything over to the side of the pan so you have a little room to work with. In the cleared space, scramble the two eggs. Then mix the egg in with everything else. Add the cabbage mix and cook for 5 or so more minutes. Heat the noodles as the package says (mine just said to microwave them for 1 minute to loosen them up), then toss them into the pan. Pour the sauce and peanuts on top, and ta-da! It's spicy and so good.

I also sauted some blanched green beans with chopped red onion, salt, and pepper to have on the side. AND - Brad ate ten of them! Ten green beans! The only thing he picked out of this entire vegetable-laden meal was the mushrooms. That is big news.

Transportation

2009-08-11T14:30:00.000-07:00

Brad’s car is having some major alternator issues this week, so today he drove our Subaru to work. Since I didn’t have the option of driving, and since I’m trying to bike more anyway, I biked down to the Rockwood Bakery this afternoon to write for a while. For whatever reason, I decided that my only real route option would be to ride straight down Grand. This is certainly the most direct route, since both my house (around 38th) and the Rockwood (around 17th) are just one block off Grand, and Grand is an arterial, etc.

However, an efficient ride down Grand means riding IN TRAFFIC, meaning amongst monstrous cars, which makes me extremely uneasy. I spent the whole ride trying to stay as far right as possible, gasping when I saw that the far right was full of potholes and gravel, and repeating, “I’m sorry!” (to the real drivers, who couldn’t hear me) and “It’s okay” (to myself, because I needed to be consoled and encouraged).

I arrived at the coffee shop sweaty and a little shaky, but alive and unharmed. But under no circumstances will I take the same route home. It means crossing paths with two traffic lights, navigating multiple lanes of traffic, and having no choice but to loosen my clamped hands from the handlebars to signal to the law-abiding motorists when I am going to make a turn. I will be meandering back up Manito Boulevard in a couple of hours, a less-direct route that will take me several blocks out of my way, but that will give me a much less harrowing ride home. I am all for commuting by bike, but this (and “this” was really a mere mile-long trip) is going to give me a panic attack.

Looking good

2009-08-10T22:39:00.000-07:00

Today I got a GREAT and very necessary haircut from my lovely sister-in-law Amanda. Thank you, Amanda! She always does a very good job, and does more to style my hair in five minutes than I have figured out in a lifetime. Amanda, want to come over with your curling iron and straightening iron and product every morning to get me ready for life? Thanks.

I also realized recently that when I mentioned in one of those surveys I can never resist doing that I hate my hair, I should have been more clear: I hate my hair COLOR, which is because it is two colors (plain old roots versus way blond ends), which is because I am being very stubborn and have chosen to slowly and painstakingly grow out all of my highlights, instead of allowing Amanda to dye my whole head to match my natural light brown/dark blond, as she has repeatedly offered to do. I have vowed to see my natural color again, on every inch of every strand of hair, and it seems like it may take the rest of my life for that to happen.

But, at least I have a super cute haircut while I wait. I took a series of really embarrassing self portraits featuring said haircut tonight, thinking that I would post one on this blog, but I had some flash issues and some lighting issues and some weird-face-making issues. So just trust me: I look GOOD.

Best Food Ever

2009-08-09T18:58:00.001-07:00

So, this blog kind of cracks me up because it is so all over the place. Which really just means that I am all over the place. But, if I haven't made it clear before now, I love food, and I want my blog to be at least partly about food. So, I had the idea tonight that I could capture my love of food - things I eat out, things I make, etc. - in a delightful regular post called The Best Thing I Ate All Week. Or The Best Food Ever. I'm not sure which one yet.

So, for this week, we (apparently, I have introduced the royal "we" to this blog, hello!) have a couple of contenders. First, did you know that at Ben and Jerry's, you can get two different flavors on a "small" (small is definitely a relative term) scoop? It's true! Last night, pre-500 Days of Summer, I indulged in just such a double-faceted scoop. For my first flavor I chose Vanilla Heath Bar Crunch, which is good but, if we (hello again) are being blunt, just average. For my SECOND flavor though, I chose the amazingly extraordinary, exceptionally delicious, forever endeared to my heart Oatmeal Cookie Chunk.

Oatmeal Cookie Chunk is the kind of flavor that I really don't think I should like that much. I am not the hugest of lovers of oatmeal cookies, and I am kind of neutral in how much I like cinnamon, but this flavor brings together a bunch of things I only sort of appreciate to form The Ice Cream of My Life: sweet cream cinnamon ice cream with chunks of oatmeal cookie and fudge. And also chunks of plain old chocolate. It is the best. You must try it.

And the other Best Food Ever would have to go to the smashed chickpea salad I made tonight, which I put on top of some of that arugula I guilt tripped myself into buying the other day, and some of the tahini sauce my best friend Deb recommended, all on some toasted pieces of this very mysterious sourdough bread I guilt tripped myself into buying at a different farmers' market today. It was all so very tasty. And when I looked at my plate, which also featured some baby carrots, I felt like the vegetarian of the year. I mean, seriously. What a plate of produce and local baked goods and health, health, health. It was really, really good, but still, when I spied all of that over-the-top good-for-me-ness all together, it actually did make me laugh. In high school I was fine with going to Denny's at 11 pm and ordering a side of fries and a milkshake. Who have I become?!

PS: I know that Ben and Jerry's does not scream health, health, health! and that I therefore am horribly contradictory and/or hypocritical and/or completely out of touch with reality. But I am going to just allow that character complexity to add to what I referred to earlier: being all over the place. Both things are true. Most of my diet screams health, health, health! And the rest screams, ice cream!

1 day of Zooey

2009-08-08T22:29:00.000-07:00

I just saw 500 Days of Summer, with Zooey Deschanel and Joseph Gordon-Levitt, and it is really cute/funny and much more interesting and different from the typical, shall we say, rom-com. The 500 days are the 500 days of their relationship, but they're shown out of sequence. If I were hipper, I'd want to have Zooey's (she's kind of my girlfriend, so don't worry - we're totally on a first name basis) whole retro wardrobe.

AND - earlier today, I watched a rerun of Top Chef Masters, and the remaining chefs' challenge was to cook a delicious vegan meal for none other than vegan Miss Deschanel and a bunch of her vegan friends. I'm not a vegan, but if anyone wants to hold a competition to see who can prepare me the most delicious vegetarian food, I wouldn't put a stop to it. I've always thought being a food critic would be pretty fun, and I realize that I've really limited my potential there since there are now so many foods I won't eat. A vegetarian competition/feast/competifeast by amazing chefs sounds like a good idea. Anyone?

Oops I did it again

2009-08-06T20:28:00.001-07:00

My friend Elizabeth tagged me in a note on Facebook with all of these many questions. Thanks Liz! I should note that this survey took me a while, so I did some on Thursday and some on Friday morning and some on Friday night.

1. What time did you get up this morning?

6! 6 AM! Every day! (This was my Thursday answer. My Friday day off answer is 9 AM! We slept in!)

2. How do you like your steak?

I like it not at all.

3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema?

Ooh, the cinema. How elegant! Harry Potter.

4. What is your favorite TV show?

What a complicated question. The still-airing show I get most excited about is LOST. This summer, I am anxiously awaiting Mad Men and Project Runway.

5. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be?

In the Pacific Northwest! Lucky me.

6. What did you have for breakfast?

Kashi Go Lean cereal with craisins and walnuts, and a chai tea latte. (Thursday answer! On Friday, I awoke at the luxurious hour of 9 AM to find that Brad had made delicious blueberry pancakes, from scratch, and coffee. Thanks buddy!)

7. What is your favorite cuisine?

Big salad.

8. What foods do you dislike?

Canned green beans, cucumbers, meat, fake cheese, Boca burgers, cottage cheese, casserole, things with creamy centers.

9. Favorite place to eat?

I am in love with the Picabu Bistro lately. I love their falafel, and I love their summer salad menu, and basically everything I've ever had there. PLUS, Brad and I get their VIP discount when we go in, because Brad went to high school with the owner's son. And sometimes free drinks. I like to whisper "VIPs in the house!" when we walk in.

10. Favorite dressing?

My own homemade balsamic vinaigrette.

11. What kind of vehicle do you drive?

My vehicle is a Subaru Outback. I can't drive Brad's vehicle because it is a stick shift and I never learned how to drive one; whoops! I am a bad wife.

12. What are your favorite clothes?

I have a hard time liking my own clothes.

13. Where would you visit if you had the chance?

Oh, everywhere. I don't even know where to begin.

14. Cup 1/2 empty or 1/2 full?

Half full. Unless it's a cup of ice cream.

15. Where would you want to retire?

Well, not Florida. That's for sure.

16. Favorite time of day?

I like the early morning, as long as I've slept enough, which almost never happens. I like the evening when the sun is setting.

17. Where were you born?

Edmonds, WA.

18. What is your favorite sport to watch?

As if I care! I guess I would say college basketball.

19. Who do you think will not tag you back?

I think I didn't tag anyone.

20. Person you expect to tag you back first?

Come on...

21. Who are you most curious about their responses to this?

Stop asking me about tagging! Enough is enough!

22. Bird watcher?

No, but I think it runs in the family. Ask me later.

23. Are you a morning person or a night person?

Morning ish.

24. Do you have any pets?

Yes, one dog, a funny lady named Emmy.

25. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share?

Well! I've been hoping you would ask that, survey!

26. What did you want to be when you were little?

A teacher.

27. What is your best childhood memory?

Hmm. Going to my grandparents' "Beach Place," perhaps.

28. Are you a cat or dog person?

Dogs, dogs, dogs.

29. Are you married?

Yes. It is almost our SIX YEAR ANNIVERSARY, which is completely insane. September 7.

30. Always wear your seat belt?

Always.

31. Been in a car accident?

No, but I don't like to talk about it, because I'm afraid I'll jinx myself.

32. Any pet peeves?

I have quite a few, but I can never remember them when asked. If I can think of them I might post them separately.

33. Favorite pizza toppings?

I love love love the "Saxon" pizza at Benniditos: artichoke hearts, mushrooms, goat cheese, mozzarella, and pesto, with tomato and garlic sauce.

34. Favorite flower?

I don't really have one. I do love peonies though. I wish they bloomed longer. I was very disappointed with how long mine were pretty this year. And dahlias! Big fat flowers are my thing.

35. Favorite ice cream?

I love a lot of ice creams. No plain chocolate, and I don't usually get the fruity flavors. And no marshmallows!

36. Favorite fast food restaurant?

Wendy's.

37. How many times did you fail your driver's test?

Nine times. Just kidding, zero.

38. From whom did you get your last email?

Um, from someone I work with. I think.

39. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card?

Hmm. Well, I wouldn't do that. If I did, maybe this year's Nordstom sale. Or maybe Anthropologie? Or a home store.

40. Do anything spontaneous lately?

Hmm. Let me think. I spontaneously bought a two pack of Softlips chapstick at Target today. I am really flying by the seat of my pants!

41. Like your job?

I like it pretty well.

42. Broccoli?

Sure, why not. When I was at the Spaghetti Factory recently I was offered some broccoli with mizithra, and it was really delicious.

43. What was your favorite vacation?

Probably the London/Rome/Florence/Paris trip we went on a couple of years ago. Or New York and Boston. Both trips were fantastic.

44. Last person you went out to dinner with?

I went to the Spaghetti Factory, home of the broccoli with mizithra, for my grandpa's 90th birthday, and there were lots of people there. Also, Autumn and I had a fine dining experience at Taco Del Mar in Ellensburg on our way back to Spokane on Sunday, with her foster baby.

45. What are you listening to right now?

Not listening.

46. What is your favorite color?

Green, I think.

47. How many tattoos do you have?

No thanks.

48. How many are you tagging for this quiz?

OMG, you are so self-absorbed, quiz!

49. What time did you finish this quiz?

Um, what? It's 11:52 right now. I am really dedicated to this posting every day business.

50. Coffee Drinker?

Yeah. Two cups this morning, one cup this afternoon. I avoided it for a long long time, but I love being a coffee drinker.

Aches and pains

2009-08-06T15:27:00.000-07:00

I just went to the farmers' market (for the first time all year - I'm sorry! Albertsons is practically next store, and even though I hate it there it's just so freaking convenient) and bought corn on the cob and some arugula, and I am pretty excited to eat them for dinner. No, Brad will not like the arugula, thanks for wondering. But I bought it anyway, even after a lady there gave me some to sample and I remembered just how spicy and non-lettucey arugula can taste. It will freak him out. Actually, I probably wouldn't have bought any EXCEPT that the booth lady offered me a sample. After I'd tasted it, even though it was making my eyes kind of water and all I'd really wanted was plain old regular romaine or something, I felt a little guilty and therefore ready to buy. She'd just done me a favor! Free samples are probably a well worth the sales person's efforts when dealing with eager-t0-pleasers like me.

Which is why, when I saw a little old man with a little old stool and a box full of something labeled "That Stuff," I tried to pass by unnoticed, so that I wouldn't have to engage and, shortly thereafter, feel the unignorable obligation to buy something I didn't want. But he stopped me.

"Excuse me, miss, do you have any aches or pains?"

The truth is that I do have aches AND pains, and most of them are concentrated on the outside of my right knee, and all over my right shoulder. But I knew he was selling something and I didn't want to be pitched to, so I just stayed awkwardly silent for a minute. He was undeterred.

"Injuries? Illnesses? Migraine headaches? Any discomfort at all? If you do, That Stuff" (he picked up one of the bottles of clear liquid that was next to the stool) "will cure it in just 30 seconds!"

I didn't want to try That Stuff, because I didn't want to feel any pressure to buy That Stuff. So I straight up lied. "Actually, I'm feeling pretty good right now."

"What about your parents? Your grandparents? Do THEY have any aches or pains?"

Hmm, how to address this? Yes, I do indeed have parents, who I'm sure have more than enough aches and pains. No, I don't like lying to little old men. Yes, it is ridiculous that I internally agonize over moments like this.

"Well, they don't live in the area."

"Oh. Well, where do they live?"

"Seattle."

"OK, well, do they ever come visit? If they do, bring them by. I'm here every Thursday."

It was the saddest and most earnest of pitches. If you have any aches or pains, please see the extremely eager little old salesman at the Perry Street Farmers' Market. He's there every Thursday from 3 to 7. Tell your grandma!

When the living's easy

2009-08-05T22:50:00.000-07:00

My brain is tired! My brain! I just started two posts that I then discarded when I decided they were stupid. One was about riding my bike to work. The other was a few delicious recipes. Both of them seemed like a waste of everyone's time after about thirty seconds of writing.

So, instead, what? I'll just say that I love this summer. I've never had such a free, uncommitted, easygoing summer before. Last summer was technically just as free time-wise, but I had just left the bank, and readjusting to a whole different style of life was still overwhelming.

This summer is different. I have loved reading on the front porch, waking up early and running, hanging out at coffee shops with my laptop and attempting to write (sometimes I've also hated that), checking out more books from the library than I could ever read, getting ice cream at The Scoop, biking to work, hanging out with high schoolers, watching Alias, reading and praying and being quiet in the morning times, writing articles about rodeos, and just having TIME to do whatever I want with.

When school starts again in September I know the stress and the pressure will be back, and I'll be short on sleep and generally unrelaxed until June. That's because I'm a perfectionist, not because my program is trying to beat me to a pulp. And it will be good for me in some ways and exhausting in others and it will all work out okay eventually. But I want to remember how restful (even though, honestly, I haven't been sleeping all that much) these few months have been, and how rejuvenating this time off has felt (even though this heat is trying to melt me). It feels good to love life.

Fembot

2009-08-04T22:41:00.000-07:00

I don't know how many of my tiny pool of readers are Alias fans, but as I've mentioned a few times, Brad and I are watching the episodes on DVD this summer. We're most of the way through season 2 now and all I have to say is (and I hope this isn't much of a spoiler): fembot?!

I've heard that this show devolves into something really weird by the later seasons. But I've been so in love with it for these past few weeks that I'll be really sad if it starts to get too bizarre to function. So far, it's just a little bit weird, but I'm starting to get scared. Sidney, Vaughn, and JJ, please give me at least one more good season, ok?

Question of the summer

2009-08-03T22:17:00.001-07:00

So the funny thing is that since I went to my high school reunion last weekend I expected that the number one question I'd be answering this summer would be something like, "So what are you up to?" Or, "What do you do?" Or, "Are you married?" or "Do you have kids?" or "Have you made anything of yourself OR WHAT?"

And I did get asked some version of those things a number of times. However, with the pre-reunion Westport trip, and a little grandpa's surprise 90th birthday party thrown in between, I ended up being around all sorts of people I don't see very often or know very well over the past week, and the question I found myself answering again and again was, "Why are you a vegetarian?"

And the thing is that I don't really have a great answer ready to go for that one. I have a little story I often tell, about how I never liked meat all that much, and how when I ate meat, I wasn't doing anything to make sure it was not all hopped up on steroids and creepiness or that it was generally healthy and happy prior to meat-making; I thought it might be healthier not to eat meat since I wasn't eating high-quality meat anyway. I usually say something about how I'd wanted to be a vegetarian for a long time and one day I realized I should really try it instead of just thinking about it, so I had a meat-free May and really liked it and just continued on, forever and ever, amen.

And people usually seem pretty satisfied with that. They want to know things like how long ago that all happened (2 years and a few months), how I get my protein (it's insanely easy), and what Brad and I do since he's not a vegetarian (he basically doesn't eat much meat anymore either, because I don't usually make him any, whoops!). But there are some other factors that go into the vegetarianism that I feel like are a little less easy to explain and that I therefore usually avoid mentioning.

For example: Sarah's Philosophy of Eating Things that Once Lived. I'm not really anti meat-eating. I'm anti cruelty and anti sad mass mega unhealthy farming practices where the animals are treated horribly. But I feel like people have been eating animals and animal products for a long, long, long time and that's kind of how the food chain is built (I probably sound like an idiot right now because I'm not, oh, let's just say educated about this stuff). But here's where Sarah's Philosophy kicks in. I know that I could never, under normal life circumstances (who knows what might happen if I were on Flight 815 or something and while I was stranded on my mystery island the only thing I had to eat, pre-Dharma food drop, was fish and fruit), kill an animal. I just couldn't do it. I wouldn't do it. And something feels bad to me about eating something that someone else killed when I know that I couldn't kill that food myself. It's like having someone else do my dirty work.

Then there's the What I Don't Know Probably Would Hurt Me But I'd Rather Not Do the Research and Deal with the Icky Sadness factor. Meaning that if I knew more about what actually goes on in some of these places where animals are raised and slaughtered and all that jazz, I'm pretty sure I would be majorly grossed out and extremely sad about commercialism and cruelty and how messed up the whole food system is, etc. But I kind of don't want to deal with it and any emotional repercussions, so I just assume that I would hate what I'd discover and continue on in blissful ignorance, but still meat-free and therefore guilt-free.

And there are other factors, like what our current system of meat-raising is doing to the environment, and the fact that not eating meat makes it easier to avoid bad fats, and the fact that there are so many vegetarians in the world now that becoming one two years ago seemed really doable. Someday maybe I'll find a way to boil my response down a little, to make it into a little wieldy kernel of wisdom for all of my admirers. In the meantime, I'll keep on responding as I have been for the past two years: with a long, awkward, "Weeelllllllllllllllllllll," many seconds of hesitation, and a quick mental Rolodex-type flip through all my cards of reasons why not to eat meat before I choose the answer of the moment.

Better than ever

2009-08-02T22:19:00.000-07:00

I'm back. Facts:

1. Westport was fantastic. That trip is one of the best things I've ever been a part of. More to come!

2. My 10 year high school reunion was this weekend. I am still a little bit weirded out. In a goodish way.

3. It was 87 degrees inside the house when I walked in the front door half an hour ago.

4. Better facts coming tomorrow, and every day for the next month. All day, every day, facts facts facts.

Back in August!

2009-07-25T22:14:00.001-07:00

I'm going to be in Westport, WA this week, with very sporadic internet access, so I'm going to have to break up with blogging again for a bit. I'll be back in August! Which is coming up scarily soon.

Back in the biz

2009-07-24T22:44:00.000-07:00

I ran six miles today, and I could not be happier about it. Six miles is how far I was running on average, five times a week, a few months ago. Then, while I was training for Bloomsday, my IT band got all sensitive and whiney and started causing me hot, unignorable pain. That was April 15th. It's been more than three months since I've run 6 miles during a single run, and I cannot express how much I've missed my regular running habit. I've been out there over the past month or two, slowly slowly slowly building back up to real running, but it's been different. For one thing, I have to run slowly right now, because that's easier on my leg. I also have to run on pretty flat surfaces, with almost undetectable inclines, which eliminates pretty much every running route I really love.

And even more, oh, I don't know, aggravating about getting back into the running biz, is that fact that my mind can't wander while I'm running like I like it to. I think the thing that has really hooked me on running is the space it's given me to just think, to pound out stress, to let my mind go, without any limitations. Somehow, running makes normal distractions and self-doubting disappear. But now that I'm getting over an injury, I have to think about how my leg is feeling while I'm out. Was that a twinge of pain? Was that a moment of hotness? Is my IT band grinding way too close for comfort over my knee joint? I can't really lose myself in other things because I can't really forget about the little nuances of what my body is actually doing.

The six miles today weren't great thinking time, but I did listen to a This American Life podcast, and I did tour some unexplored neighborhoods, and I did briefly visit a McDonald's, not for a sundae, but for a drink of water from their bathroom sink. I'm sure the manager there is not a big fan of thieves like me, who sneak their giant sweaty tomato faces into the building without bothering to buy even an Egg McMuffin, but I don't care. I used to steal a drink of water from that bathroom two summers ago, while I was training for a marathon, barging in like a hot mess, just like I did today. Stopping at McDonald's felt good, as if I had remembered about an old tradition, something my real runner self would do. Running isn't doing much for my mind yet, but the McDonald's trip bodes well for the future.

The real thing

2009-07-23T20:30:00.001-07:00

What I don't understand is, why, in my Breyer's (allegedly) All Natural Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough ice cream, is there a deliciously authentic vanilla flavor, and yet there is no vanilla on the ingredient list? The only thing I saw that might be vanilla is "natural flavors," but what are those, really? I'm confused.

And I'm starting to wonder if maybe I just shouldn't eat ice cream as often as I would like to. All of the "light" flavors I like are from Dreyer's and I have recently learned that they all have creepy partially hydrogenated things in them, and this Breyer's thing seems sort of suspicious. Plus, I think I eat too much sugar. There, I said it. I didn't want to have to admit it, but it's true. I'm a health fiend but also a dessert fiend and the more I look at ice cream labels, the more I'm wondering if I've been treating myself to too much of a not-so-good thing.

It probably makes sense that dessert should be more of a real celebration than an every day non-event. I'd probably enjoy it even more if I only had ice cream once a week or something devastating like that. Especially if the ice cream I ate was really, really bad for me and good, like the ice cream from my favorite place, The Scoop. The idea of holding out for the good, real thing, and settling for less of the crap, is one of those little nuggets of smartness that extends way beyond snacks. You can start out thinking about something harmless like ice cream, and then the next thing you know you've entered a vortex and your mind is on your old job and all of life's little papercutting compromises again.

Good things take time, and effort, and they usually aren't ready the second you want them, which is also a good thing. Almost every need or want can be met almost within minutes, at least in my little corner of the world, and I think it conditions us to think that we shouldn't have to work hard for anything. Thus, helicopter moms, canned beans, and Netflix. Not bad things necessarily - canned beans and Netflix are my daily bread. But in addition to all of the other bad things it leads to, choosing stuff just because it's convenient means settling when it comes to quality and, ultimately, real satisfaction.

Maybe tomorrow I won't have any ice cream at all. But it's just as likely that I'll give in to a sudden urge for a McDonald's sundae.

Anniversary

2009-07-22T19:58:00.000-07:00

I realized today that I completely forgot about my one year anniversary of quitting being a corporate drone. The last day of my five years at the bank was July 9, 2008. It is so funny that just one year later my whole old life seems like so long ago. Quitting my job was terrifying. I wanted to quit for years before I actually did it, and even after I gave my notice I kept doubting myself. Steadiness and security are pretty important to me. Trading my good-paying full time job (with benefits and 401k) for a not-so-good-paying part time job with no benefits, plus going back to school full time, seemed almost impossibly risky. I knew that I was doing the right thing, but I was really scared about what would happen.

I'm still a little worried about what's going to happen, because I'm not sure what exactly I'm going to do when I am officially a Master of Creative Writing next June. But I know for absolute sure that my frame of mind is infinitely better than it was before I started this whole irresponsible lifestyle. I love getting to experience summertime - reading outside at coffee shops, obsessing about summer salads, knowing I can go out of town for a week without it meaning that I won't be able to take a single day off at Christmas. There is flexibility and give in my life now; I'm busier than I was a year ago, but time can expand and collapse without regard to the boundaries of my old 8+ hour days of dissatisfying work. I still feel kind of ominously unsettled, but now it's because I want to be a good writer and I don't quite know how, instead of before, when it was because I wanted to live a fulfilling life, but couldn't do that with the job I was too scared to leave. I don't really know what I'm doing with my life, but I'm not disappointed with myself anymore.

Acclimating

2009-07-21T20:24:00.001-07:00

Something unthinkable is happening: I am getting used to how hot it gets in the summers here. It gets really hot. I know we are lucky because there's not a lot of humidity in Spokane, but that has not made much difference to my level of contentedness in years past. I hate being hot, hate feeling like I have to hide in the basement, and hate when I don't feel capable of doing anything but lying still and breathing, because all other options would be sweaty and uncomfortable. And even though lying still and breathing are very appropriate for these evil summertimes, the heat makes sleeping very difficult. There have been lots of nights in years past when before bed I stuck my head under the bathtub spout (is that a real term?) so that I could go to sleep with wet hair and feel less stifled. I also used to chase Emmy around the yard with the hose (set to 'mist'; she is a very dainty lady, after all, and not at all interested in being hit with big scary drops of water) so that she could also go to bed with pleasantly wet hair.

But, I realized today that it was 84 degrees in my living room, and I was just sitting here, reading, computing, tidying, just like a regular human being. I made dinner on the stove, as if I weren't living in an oven. I seriously considered it when my friend asked me if I would go running with her tomorrow, IN THE AFTERNOON (a.k.a., when it will be approximately 96 degrees outside). But I am not completely insane. I still told her no.

Couldn't resist

2009-07-20T22:38:00.000-07:00

So, I gave in to my guilty pleasure and did a survey, and it took a long time and I'm tired and it's not even fun/funny! Deal with it!

1. First thing you wash in the shower? Hair.

2. What color is your favorite hoodie? Blue.

3. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? Yes.

4. Do you plan outfits? seriously? Um, yes? Seriously. Not every day or anything. But sometimes.

5. How are you feeling RIGHT now? Oh, you mean RIGHT now? Tired, stuffed up, thirsty.

6. What’s the closest thing to you that's red? A throw pillow! Right on top of my lap!

7. Tell me about the last dream you remember having: Shut up, I won't. I don't remember any recent dreams.

8. Did you meet anybody new today? Um...no. I talked to a gazillion people but they were all people I knew. A little girl was at my office and kept sneaking around the corner by my desk and spying on me, but we never met. It was corporate espionage, pure and simple.

9. What are you craving right now? Sleep.

10. Do you floss daily? Oh yes. Every day. It's very important to me. Did you know you're supposed to floss before you brush your teeth, not after? Totally true!

11. What comes to mind when I say cabbage? Ahh! Someone was eating what smelled like a bowl of hot cabbage at my work today and it was sicko.

12. Are you emotional? No, only if you push me to the edge of tiredness and stress. Then I am emotional AND irrational.

13. Have you ever counted to 1,000? That sounds horrible. No. Don't waste my time.

14. Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it? Lick. Who wants to stick their teeth into that? A waste of deliciousness.

15. Do you like your hair? Nope! It is in a horrible, awkward, geeky growing out phase. The ends are nasty, the ends don't match the roots, and I do not know how to style it. It is a sad situation.

16. Do you like yourself? Generally.

17. Would you go out to eat with George W. Bush? Hmm, I was not expecting to get that offer. I guess so?

18. What are you listening to right now? Thirteen Going on Thirty is on in the background. I guess I'm in the midst of a Jennifer Garner obsession.

19. Are your parents strict? Honestly, I don't really know. I didn't really push the limits much.

20. Would you go sky diving? No! Unless I went on the Amazing Race. If I were brave enough to go on the show, I'd know skydiving might be a part of it, and I would want to die inside but would have to agree to sky dive in tandem with someone. Eee I don't want to!

21. Do you like cottage cheese? Oh, no. I've tried. Cottage cheese should not exist.

22. Have you ever met a celebrity? Heyoooooo! Arsenio Hall!

23. Do you rent movies often? Yes. And TV shows on DVD.

24. Is there anything sparkly in the room you're in? My wedding ring. My glimmering shimmering eyes.

25. How many countries have you visited? 6

26. Have you made a prank phone call? Yes.

27. Have you ever been on a train? Yes.

28. Brown or white eggs? I like the look of brown eggshells.

29. Do you have a cell-phone? Yes. I had the worst phone in the world for a while, a white Chocolate phone that was embarrassingly faulty. It really messed with me and was always beeping in my ear and showing me weird screens. Now I have a delightful cell-phone (why are we hyphenating this, survey? you weirdo!) with a full text keyboard. Whoop!

30. Do you use Chap Stick? Yeah dude.

31. Do you own a gun? Who are you talking to? No!

32. Can you use chop sticks? If I have to. I want the ones that they make for babies, where the ends are permanently attached for easy breezy chopsticking.

33. Who are you going to be with tonight? Brad, Emmy, Sidney Bristow.

34. Are you too forgiving? No.

35. Ever been in love? Yes.

36. What is your best (good) friend(s) doing tomorrow? Working.

37. Ever have cream puffs? No? I don't like things with creamy centers. Not even the world's best and most precious eclair.

38. Last time you cried? I don't remember, but today I coughed so hard that my eyes watered and made me look like I'd been having an emotional breakdown.

39. What was the last question you asked? What are you doing tomorrow?

40. Favorite time of the year? I like when seasons turn; the beginning of each one is perfect and refreshing.

41. Do you have any tattoos? No, no, no. I'm afraid of needles and long-term decisions.

42. Are you sarcastic? Yes, sometimes. I don't think I pull off sarcasm very attractively, though.

43. Have you ever seen The Butterfly Effect? No. No thanks.

44. Ever walked into a wall? Not completely. I bang my shoulders into door frames all the time. I have man shoulders but my brain never remembers about them.

45. Favorite color? Green.

46. Have you ever slapped someone? Probably? I'm sure I've slapped my brother. I've done some shin kicking in my day too.

47. Is your hair curly? Wavy when air dried. Curly never.

48. What was the last CD you bought? Um, I don't know. I should know. The CD I've been meaning to listen to a lot (but have not yet been) is Manchester Orchestra.

49. Do looks matter? Well, yes.

50. Could you ever forgive a cheater? Once a cheater, always a cheater! That's from Friends, and it's a line that is stuck in my brain. Thank you, Ross and Rachel! With enough time and wisdom, I think it is possible to forgive most things.

51. Is your phone bill sky high? No? What a weird question.

52. Do you like your life right now? I love the summertime! Except that my house is so toasty.

53. Do you sleep with the TV on? No, I hate that. Only if I fall asleep on the couch temporarily.

54. Can you handle the truth? Yes? Can you ask me meaningless questions in the form of iconic movie lines?

55. Do you have good vision? Oh yes. Glasses free since 1980!

56. Do you hate or dislike more than 3 people? Yes. Dislike.

57. How often do you talk on the phone? Occasionally. I kind of hate my phone. I almost never have my ringer turned on, and I don't like answering it.

58. The last person you held hands with? Brad. And Emmy and I hold hands a lot.

59. What are you wearing right now? Lounge wear. A leisure suit.

60. What is your favorite animal? Dog. Emmy has opened my eyes to the wonderful world of dogs. I want all of them to be my buddy.

61. Where was your profile picture taken at? Um, is this a Facebook question? On a boat. Never thought I'd be on a bo-oat!

62. Can you hula hoop? Yes.

63. Do you have a job? Yes.

64. What was the most recent thing you bought? Coffee.

65. Have you ever crawled through a window? It seems impossible that I wouldn't have done this, but I can't remember having to. I remember locking Danyeal, Marty, and myself out of my apartment a few years ago, but Marty saved the day by crawling through the bathroom window that time. He came in through the bathroom window.

Two thoughts

2009-07-19T23:55:00.000-07:00

It's late and I have to get up early, and I have only two thoughts:

1. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince is much better the second time around.

2. I am in love with Alias, and don't know if I have a bigger crush on Sidney Bristow or Jennifer Garner.

Rodeo cowgirl

2009-07-18T23:22:00.000-07:00

Last week I mentioned that I had written an article about local rodeos for Spokane Coeur d'Alene Living magazine. The July/August issue is on newsstands now, and the article is also available online. It's an ok read if you care about things like saddle bronc riding and tie down roping, and an even better one if you're more interested in the semi-unknown, totally old-timey yet modernly multitasking rodeo subculture that's quietly existing all around us. Who knew?!

PS: I could not love it more that blogger tells me that it is "Done spellchecking" every time I ask it to look for spelling errors. I feel like I just got done taking my OWLs.

Summer reading

2009-07-18T23:00:00.000-07:00

My goal is to start posting some book reviews soon. I checked out (another) big stack of books from the library today. I don't know when exactly it is that I think I'm going to read them all, with a lot a lot a lot of work to do this week and Westport coming up very soon, but I just can't resist library books. As soon as I see something interesting, I grab it, because it's free! And because it's a book! And because just having a big fat pile of them around makes me feel smarter.

Books currently in my stack of summer reading material:

Plan B: Further Thoughts on Faith, Anne Lamott
The Undertaking, Thomas Lynch
I Feel Bad About My Neck, Nora Ephron
Julie and Julia, Julie Powell
Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs, Chuck Klosterman
Jesus Wants to Save Christians, Rob Bell and Don Golden
Ex Libris, Anne Fadiman
Everything is Illuminated, Jonathan Safron Foer
The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao, Junot Diaz
Gilead, Marilynne Robinson

And so many more that it makes me feel both excited and a little nervous, because who am I kidding? There is absolutely no way I'm going to read all of this stuff (especially because of Brad's and my "summer project": watching endless episodes of Alias on DVD. Choose Vaughn! Choose Vaughn!). But, I can try. I recently finished both Plan B and I Feel Bad About My Neck, so further thoughts on books written by women over fifty will be coming up soon. Both books are great, but I think I've read enough about stomach pooches and saggy necks to last me quite a while.

Taming the beast

2009-07-17T22:20:00.000-07:00

While Emmy and I were out prancing (as we refer to our walks) in the hot hot heat tonight, we crossed paths with a little boy and his dad, who were on bicycles. We paused to let them pass by. And then I heard the boy say this: "Dad, look! It's a baby wolf!" My wild, ferocious little Em. The wolf dog is currently curled up and sound asleep, in my bed.

Hogwarts explosion

2009-07-16T19:32:00.000-07:00

So, Harry Potter. Well. I've seen the movies at midnight opening night several times, and this was by far the most intense pre-Potter experience. Danyeal and I drove down to River Park Square at 10, thinking that was more than early enough for even the most popular midnight movie. By the time we got there, though, the theater was already a Hogwarts explosion. There were people everywhere -- every one of the 17 (I think) theaters was set to start showing the movie at precisely 12:01, and our assigned theater, 17, was completely packed with people. Billions of seats had been reserved by coats, bags, and broomsticks. We had a group of four, and there were no groups of four seats to be found anywhere. After scavenging for a while and covering random groups of two and three seats with our sweatshirts and purses and stuff, Autumn found a much much much less crowded theater, lucky number 12, so we just ignored the fact that our tickets had assigned us to a certain room and headed down there. By the time the movie started, even theater 12 was completely packed. I think the entire place was sold out.

A few highlights of the pre-movie experience:

10 zillion people running around from theater to theater, wearing 10 zillion awesome costumes
ranking our favorite Harry Potter books, movies, and moments -- and gasping when I saw Danyeal's shocking book rankings (The Goblet of Fire as the number one choice?! I did not see that coming)
playing a Harry Potter version of "would you?" (or, our favorite adaptation, "Kiss or Push?")
Autumn watching a teeny little bit of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix on her portable DVD player
Popping DayQuil at 11 in an attempt to fight off a giant coughing/running nose/sneezing catastrophe

As far as the movie itself goes, I'm sorry to say that I didn't love it. I have very low expectations for each of the movies; the books are what I really care about, and since I think they are almost perfect, any greatness in the movies is just a bonus. But this one was disappointing, I thought. Quite a few scenes were added, removed, or changed. I know that's what happens when you make a book into a film, but some of these choices seemed to lead to some mediocre storytelling and shortchanged really good stuff. Ginny Weasley was pretty bland. And a huge part of the book, a part that seemed destined for movie greatness, wasn't included in the film at all.

Of course, I am an old lady and did take a few teeny tiny catnaps from time to time, so to be fair, I should (and will) watch the whole thing again. There are a few things I liked a lot: Ron Weasley, who was a fine and hilarious specimen throughout; Horace Slughorn, who was way more likeable that I'd ever imagined while reading; and hunchback Harry on his lucky day.

I'm waiting

2009-07-15T21:29:00.001-07:00

More details about last night's Harry Potter extravaganza are coming soon! But, I've decided that I am not going to blog again until Danyeal leaves another comment. Posting every day is not all that big a reward in an of itself, as it turns out. I need the feedback of my 1.5 readers! So, I'm waiting.

nerds

2009-07-14T21:11:00.000-07:00

So, tonight is a big night. Why? Harry Potter! Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince! I will be on my way to the theater for a midnight showing before long, which means I'll be staying up until 3 in the morning for the first time in a verrrry long while. I wanted to take 12 espresso shots at the stroke of midnight in order to stay awake, but that big baby of a coffee shop, Starbucks, is apparently only open until 9. Home brew it is!

Danyeal and I came up with a list of essential Harry Potter prefunk activities that we've been checking off over the past few hours. So far, we have watched part of Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, gone on a Harry Potter dog walk, and had a race where we each did a (3-D!) Harry Potter puzzle as fast as we could while listening to wizard rock (Danyeal kicked the crap out of me). Soon, we'll slip into something more comfortable (our super hip Kingsley Shacklebot t-shirts) and go to the theater to meet Autumn and wait in line with all the nerds. Oh yes, that includes us.

dress-up

2009-07-13T22:35:00.000-07:00

I'm just drinking tea (ew!) and trying to get over being sick before tomorrow night, when I'm going to see Harry Potter at midnight! And, I will be wearing an awesome t-shirt, featuring Kingsley Shacklebot (and that is not a typo). I'm not especially into dressing up for events, big or small, but my t-shirt (thanks Beth!) really makes me laugh, and I'm excited.

So, the question is: when is the last time you dressed up (not dressed NICE, mind you), and what did you wear?

allow me to mesmerize you daily

2009-07-12T21:09:00.001-07:00

I should also say that it is funny that I apologized for not posting yesterday, without explaining that I had decided to post every day. Which is something that I only committed to two people over email. I think blogging every day might help me get in the habit of writing every day. Plus, it's fun, most of the time. Plus, my life is fascinating. Tonight I watched 45 minutes of The Parent Trap.

grorry

2009-07-12T06:26:00.001-07:00

I forgot to post yesterday! But posting so very early on a weekend morning should make up for it. I have a lot of readers clamoring for my posts. Anyway, this will be short. I didn't blog yesterday because I am sick! With a cold. In July. It is so lame. Plus, it was about 8 billion degrees in our house last night and I could hardly breathe out my nose and it was practically impossible to sleep, plus I didn't want to take any cold medicine because I had to get up at 5:15 this morning to take Brad to the airport. I knew from past experience that I would have still felt drugged and grorry, a.k.a. groggy, when I woke up, which is bad for driving. So now I'm just sitting here like a zombie eating cereal and trying to lower the temperature in the house. Each degree lower is a victory. I've made it from 78 to 75, so that's three small groggy celebrations so far.

One topic I forgot to include on my list of essay ideas is the elements of story, and what makes us interested in those particular elements. For example, foreshadowing. What makes readers look for foreshadowing in stories (consciously or not)? The more I read and really study writing, the more I notice that even in the most diverse writing, the same elements are there again and again. So, why? I've got some ideas.

getting down to business

2009-07-10T21:06:00.000-07:00

My goal this summer was to lounge a lot and to work a little and to write most of my thesis, or at least a draft of most of the essays that will be in it. I am good at lounging and working but I suck at writing. In the first couple of weeks of summer I wrote an article for Spokane Coeur d'Alene Living magazine about rodeos, which I knew nothing about going in and which required tons of research. Doing the article was a great experience but it burned me out on writing for a while, because I had just finished my first year of grad school before I started the article and was already feeling pretty tired. I didn't write much at all for a little while after that.

And regarding lounging: I've learned that I'm probably never going to be someone who has long unmarked spans of time stretching out ahead. Being interested in lots of things and liking lots of people and wanting to go to lots of places will always keep something out ahead of me. This summer, so far, has been good and relaxing and full of fun people and time to read magazines and ride my bike to The Scoop for ice cream. But it's also been full of work projects and article writing and people visiting and mission trip planning and traveling. I say yes to doing lots of things, and every week there's something going on, and it makes it hard to find some sort of routine to do any real writing.

So, while I was walking Emmy tonight, I had an idea: I should set a deadline for my next essay. I should give myself two weeks, which is how long I had to write my rodeo article, which was fairly long and very research intensive, so I know it's doable. And to keep myself accountable, I'll let you read it. If you read this blog and want to read my essay two weeks from now, post a comment telling me so, and I'll email it to you when it's finished. It probably won't be a perfect flawless gem like me, but it will at least be a pretty good draft.

And, as another attempt to help myself stay on track, here are some of the topics I'm hoping to write about this summer, in the form of personal essays, profiles, and research-based pieces. The list is kind of cryptic, but not to worry; I know what it all means.

serial hobbyism
vegetarianism, and my growing numbers of vegetarian friends
movement and thought, and how they're connected
working at a bank
working at a church
piano lessons
longtime friends (and maybe high school reunions)
writing about the secret world of rodeo
the moment I knew I'd become an adult

silent stalking

2009-07-09T21:00:00.000-07:00

This is where Emmy spends about 50 to 75 percent of her waking hours, usually looking out the window. Often peering intently into pitch blackness in hopes of spying a kitty.

Last week we caught Emmy out in the backyard, very still and statue-like, clearly stalking something. She was staring at the neighbor's hedge, where a neighborhood cat likes to lounge around. This particular cat and Emmy are bigtime frenemies. The cat drives Emmy crazy, and she either silently prepares to hunt it or screeches and cries and runs around, devastated that they can't be together (or that she can't hold the kitty oh so gently in her little dog fangs). On this particular night, she was focused on very still, intense stalking. I looked at the cat, and it was also focused on still, intense stalking. There are birds living in the hedge where the cat was. Lots and lots and lots of birds that usually poop on our car. The cat fixed its eyes on the depths of bird land, in the center of the hedge, and Emmy fixed her eyes on the cat. And I fixed my eyes on Jesus. Just kidding. I mean Emmy.

And then! The cat leaped into the air, landed on the on the hedge, and then vanished into the neighbor's backyard. Emmy went berserk and screamed and cried and shrieked and ran into the house to see if the cat was perchance now just casually sitting outside a different window. But the cat wasn't, because THEN it came silently strolling out from the bottom of the hedge, with a small bird in its mouth. Emmy panicked (maybe nervous for her bird friend?) and knocked over the fan pictured above. It made a ginormous crash, but Emmy was not bothered by that one bit.

series finale

2009-07-08T23:25:00.000-07:00

I love Gilmore Girls, and I own most of the seasons -- but not season 7, a.k.a. the final season, a.k.a. the season where the show's creators left the show because they couldn't negotiate a contract for the rest of the series, a.k.a. where everything got kinda ridiculous.

Spoiler alert!

Lorelei marries Christopher and they get divorced!
Suki gets pregnant because Jackson never told her he didn't actually get the vasectomy he'd promised! And Lorelai talks her into being excited about the baby!
Logan proposes to Rory at a fancy pants graduation party Richard and Emily throw for her. After Richard and Emily sing a duet (which is awesome--no complaints). Rory agonizes over what to do and finally decides she's not ready to get married. Logan says he won't do long distance. And all of the sudden they are broken up and we never see Logan again! Ever! He's out of there! No arguing, no pleading, no crying. So professional, those two.

I've been watching the episodes on ABC Family for the past couple of weeks since I haven't seen any of them since they were first on the air, and I love the show but it is nuts! Storylines are escalated and twisted and then wrapped up abruptly, and Rory is always just showing off her delightful face and lovely reactions. Why did things have to end this way? One thing that never went wrong, though: Paris and Doyle. All of the weirdness is almost a fair trade for getting to see those two hip hop dance to Hot in Here.

Ideal Day

2009-06-30T16:44:00.000-07:00

Recently I made a list of everything I'd do in my ideal (but normal, a.k.a. not a vacation or something wonderful like that) day. I love making lists and this one was extra delightful because it's all stuff I like. Obviously. My ideal day (in no particular order) includes:

running or some exercise something
music (listening to, playing)
being quiet (reading, praying, writing, thinking)
being with people in a meaningful way, definitely Brad, probably friends/family/etc.
taking Emmy for a walk
being productive, a.k.a. cleaning, organizing, gardening, working
cooking or baking, or eating things I've prepared myself
watching something really good on TV, or a good movie; being entertained by non-garbage
using email and Facebook to stay in contact with people I like, not to just spy mindlessly
laughing. A lot.
going somewhere: a coffee shop, the library, work, someone's house, etc. In other words, not being at home all day.
learning something new
writing
reading

I didn't have to work on Tuesday and had a super quaint little morning. I got up and read for a while, then went running with Emmy, then came back and got my computer and drove to Luna for their summer latte hour or whatever it's called. Luna is a restaurant not far from my house and it is so adorable that it makes me want to die, or just live there or eat there every day. I bought coffee and a scone and sat outside at the cutest table on the nicest and most foliage-covered outdoor patio area. I was in love with it. And while I was there I wrote a draft of a whole essay! That's right. So many things on my list were happening all at once. I was the master of my own plan. I stopped by the library to turn in books and check out a few more, and went home and ate a delicious salad I made myself, and vacuumed, and made some ultra boring but necessary calls to our insurance provider. I was the most productive and most pleased woman in the world.

Then, I went to the Department of Licensing. We are going to Victoria in six weeks and I need to get an enhanced driver's license because my passport says my maiden name and I won't be able to get that fixed in time. So I brought my passport and marriage license and my driver's license and a billion utility bills with my married name, my maiden name, Brad's name, everything. I drove for half an hour through super gross traffic, got in line to get my number, and then the guy told me he couldn't help me! Apparently, although it would be enough to fix the name on my passport, the DOL won't take a marriage license/passport combo to give you an enhanced driver's license. I was enraged, but I tried to be very subtle about. The guy said I'd need to bring in my birth certificate so they'd have "a paper trail" and that I should go to the courthouse to request it.

But I didn't have my checkbook with me, so I needed cash for the birth certificate business. So I drove to a credit union downtown. I accidentally drove through their teller window area backward. Not in reverse; I went around the building counter-clockwise, and it was supposed to be clockwise. Awesome. A little embarrassment always helps me when I'm feeling enraged. I got $20 for the birth certificate, and drove to REI because they are close to the courthouse and have free parking. For customers only. So, to feel less like a parking space thief, I stopped into REI for a minute and priced out metal water bottles. It was ridiculous but it made me feel less guilty.

Then, on to the courthouse. However, contrary to what my buddy at the DOL told me, the courthouse does not provide birth certificates! No, no, no. Those are from some other building a couple of blocks south of the courthouse. So I wandered down there, and it was getting hot and miserable, and I was carrying around my laptop because I was supposed to meet some friends for a writing date at a coffee shop at that exact moment, and it was digging into my shoulder and making me feel off-balance. I filled out the paperwork and got my birth certificate and hiked back to my car (which was now kind of far away). And I was tired and sweaty and running late, I didn't have an enhanced driver's license, and I only wanted to go home. So I did. My ideal day disintegrated into a very unsuccessful and grouchy afternoon.

And on Thursday, instead of going back to Luna, I went back to the DOL. I waited for more than four hours, then spent about 10 minutes filling out paperwork, answering questions, getting my eyes checked, and having my picture taken. Driver's license, consider yourself enhanced. Ideal day list, consider yourself thwarted by normal life.

Books! Books! Books!

2009-04-15T20:29:00.000-07:00

I still exist. Does anybody care? I really abandoned my blog for a while.

This quiz has been all over Facebook lately and I've been dying to fill it out but, for some reason, feel like Facebook isn't the appropriate venue. I'm acting like a Facebook snob, but I am neurotic and contradictory because I am on Facebook reading other people's quizzes all the time. Whatev!

The BBC says most people will have only read 6 of the 100 books here.

Book List:

1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen (x...despite my love/hate relationship with Jane Austen, I've read a lot of her books)
2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien (x)
3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte (x)
4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling (x+)
5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee (x)
6 The Bible (x)
7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte (x)
8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell (x)
9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens (*)
11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott (x+ and Little Men! and Jo's Boys!)
12 Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy (x)
13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller (x)
14 Complete Works of Shakespeare (*)
15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier (? Who can remember something like that?)
16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien (I'm not even marking this as "to-read." Scandal!)
17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulk
18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger (x+++)
19 The Time Traveller’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger (*)
20 Middlemarch - George Eliot (*)
21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell (x+)
22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald (x+)
23 Bleak House - Charles Dickens (*)
24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy (*)
25 The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
26 Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky (x--number one source of unintentional sleeping spring of my senior year of high school.)
28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck (x)
29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll (*)
30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame (*)
31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy (x)
32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens (*)
33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis (*--some, not all...I should get back to these)
34 Emma - Jane Austen (x)
35 Persuasion - Jane Austen
36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis (x)
37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini (x)
38 Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres (Bella Bambina, 2 o'clock! Have not read!)
39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden (x)
40 Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne (x)
41 Animal Farm - George Orwell (*--why didn't I have to read this in high school? Didn't everybody else?)
42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown (x)
43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez (*)
44 A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving (*)
45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery (x+...I have the Anne of Green Gables complete boxed set in my basement. I have read all eight books multiple times. I have a Word document I once created indicating the full name and birth year of each of Anne's seven children--and the age she was when each one was born. Nerd alert! Slash awesome??)
47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy (x)
48 The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood (*)
49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding (x)
50 Atonement - Ian McEwan (*)
51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel (x)
52 Dune - Frank Herbert
53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen (x)
55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon (x)
57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens (x)
58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley (x)
59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon (x+)
60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez (*)
61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck (x)
62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt
64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold (x+)
65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac (*)
67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
68 Bridget Jones’s Diary - Helen Fielding (x)
69 Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie
70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville (x...I wrote my senior thesis on this book)
71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens (*--does Oliver and Company count? Then xxxxxxxxxxxx)
72 Dracula - Bram Stoker
73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett (*)
74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
75 Ulysses - James Joyce (*)
76 The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath (*)
77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78 Germinal - Emile Zola
79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray (*)
80 Possession - AS Byatt
81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens (*)
82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker (*)
84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert (x)
86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
87 Charlotte’s Web - EB White (x)
88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albot
89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton
91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad (x)
92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint (*)
93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
94 Watership Down - Richard Adams (x)
95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare (x)
99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl (x)
100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo (x)

I've read 43 -- and I want to read a lot more. I have read Bridget Jones's Diary but hardly any Dickens. I'm awesome.

Share your list -- Instructions:
1) Look at the list and put an 'x' after those you have read.
2) Add a '+' to the ones you LOVE.
3) Star (*) those you plan on reading.
4) Tally your total at the bottom.
5) Put in a note with your total in the title line.

I knew something was weird

2008-09-29T22:12:00.000-07:00

How do I know I have too much going on right now? I know because I found out this morning that I have been washing my hair with conditioner instead of shampoo for about a month. I knew something was weird with my hair and it didn't occur to me until this morning to look carefully at the shampoo bottle, only to discover it's not shampoo at all.

brief week of freedom

2008-08-25T08:32:00.001-07:00

Brad and I were at Priest Lake for a few days and just got back last night. It was very fun and relaxing and beautiful, and I still feel a little bit like I'm sitting on a gently rocking dock.

We took our dog Emmy with us, and it was pretty fun. It was the first time she'd gotten to come with us on real vacation, and she loved being out in the woods, running up to the very edge of the water but not getting in, and roaming the neighborhood (until a mean neighbor lady yelled at us to "get that dog on a leash!!!"-yikes).

I think Emmy got used to her brief week of freedom. Yesterday, on our way home, we stopped at Priest River for gas. When Brad came back to the driver's side door, Emmy jumped from the back of the car into the front seat. When he opened the door, she leaped out and darted into the convenience store.

Brad went running after her, both of them charging straight through the store and out its back door. I ran around the other side of the building (leaving the car doors wide open with all of our possessions temporarily up for grabs) hoping to cut Emmy off in the parking lot before she headed out into traffic. But, once I reached the back, she had already run back INTO the store. I ran back around to the car, Brad embarrassedly ran back through the store, and Emmy ran up to the car and jumped straight into the driver's seat once again, as if the whole thing had never happened.

satisfactorily uncomfortable

2008-08-09T16:33:00.000-07:00

So here's a little life tragedy. A while ago I posted about someone who called here on the phone and asked "Is mama home?" when I answered, which I could only assume meant she thought I had a dainty and childlike voice. I mentioned that I was glad this didn't happen in person.

Well...it happened. There was this financial planner guy passing out information door to door and when I answered ours he said, "Hi! Is your mom or dad home?" I was so embarrassed! I know I look young but jeez. And the thing is, he really was not satisfactorily uncomfortable when I replied, "Actually, I'm the homeowner." He proceeded--far too easily and unabashedly--to make all sorts of small talk that I did not want any part in while my friend Kathleen hid around the corner laughing. Boo. Boo!

Affirmation

2008-07-27T18:25:00.000-07:00

I'm at Starbucks doing my "Sunday thing." I say that in quotes not because it's not Sunday--it is--but because I don't have a need for a Sunday thing anymore. I used to go to a coffee shop on Sunday afternoons with a book and my journal because I dreaded going back to work on Monday so much that I started to hate Sundays and needed to escape. I don't dread Mondays now. I don't even work then, or on Fridays. Brad and I slept in on Friday (7:40--look who's living now!), and I went on a very long run, and we went to Costco (glamorous!) and got Frosties on the way home. Life isn't fancy and it's still not all that I want it to be, but there's a sense of freedom and spontaneity that's been lacking since college, minus vacations and weeks spent in Mexico.

I always knew, since my days at Adams Temporaries, that an office environment wasn't for me. I knew since my first month living in Spokane that a set 8-to-5 schedule was wrong for me, that the jam-packed days at Western were full but varied and that it was good for who I am--I loved bouncing between nannying and going to class and writing papers and hanging out with Brad and friends and roommates, going to the INN, playing music--the unpredictable but often familiar rhythm of that life suited me. I wrote and read. I listened. I laughed a lot.

The last five years have been quite good and I have learned a lot about myself--who I am in a new place, what it means to be a wife, who I am in Christ (or at least a little part of that), what some of my strengths are, and what some of my weaknesses are too. I've developed new hobbies--loves, really--and built relationships and learned how much I love being a leader for youth ministry. But much of the last five years has simply confirmed things I've known about myself for a long time. I don't want to work in a corporate environment. I want a flexible schedule. I want to write. I'm organized and productive and can do a lot within a routine, but I'm also deeply creative.

I found some old journal entries from about 3 years ago that list what at the time I considered to be possible future careers: writer, editor, nutritionist, entrepreneur, ministry-related job. Essentially the same list I came up with this year when I decided to get serious about myself future-wise. God has shown me and reminded me, again and again, who I am and what I love and don't love--what makes me more and less myself or, as good old Oprah would say, what makes me my best self. All that's different now is that I'm using that knowledge to decide what to do with my time. Doing that has been surprisingly natural and good.

The very day I started work at First Pres, the end of my brief no-work hiatus, I received an email from the editor of a local publication asking me if I'd be interested in freelancing for them. Brad and I have an ongoing joke about the phrase "It's a God thing", because people often use it in such cheeseball ways, or about such trivial things that I just don't believe God would intercede in--anything from getting out of a traffic ticket to being at Wal-Mart at the very moment a new shipment of Mario Kart arrives. So, I semi jokingly asked Brad if he thought the email from the editor might, in fact, be a God thing--receiving it on the first working day of the new me seemed like more than total coincidence. Brad suggested that it might be better described as an affirmation, which I find really fitting. God has patiently and faithfully reminded me of who I am, and now that I'm taking some risks to become more like that person, he's affirming me, via the email, via the freedom I feel. I did hear his still, small voice over the years, often in myself, and since I heard it in myself I often ignored it. But now that I'm responding, so is God. It's nice.

unemployed

2008-07-09T10:49:00.001-07:00

I'm officially unemployed! I just got home from my last-ever day at the bank and it is SO WEIRD I can't even explain it. Who would have thought that leaving this job could leave me feeling so melancholy?

So it's on to the next thing...a couple of days at home, then a trip to Tijuana to build a house, then a few more days at home, then the new job. It's kind of crazy. I don't know how it's going to feel to not have to be anywhere at 8 a.m. anymore. I hope it will feel nice and not just bizarre, which is how it seems right this second.

So I'm off to decide on my first official summertime activity...maybe I'll ride my bike to get some lunch or coffee while I read a book. Or maybe I'll take a nap, or work in the garden, or just lounge around at home, or call a friend...it seems that now, the possibilities are endless.

summertime

2008-07-08T18:14:00.000-07:00

In keeping with my love of lists and my upcoming summer of part-time work, I've been thinking of some summer goals. Of course. I love lists of goals. So here they are (thanks, Kathleen, for reminding me of how fun it is to post these).

Start journaling
I used to journal daily and have completely stopped. I have a couple of little notebooks where I jot things down from time to time but I miss real, concentrated journaling. I'm very excited to start this habit again and think it will make me a better person and writer.

Bake bread
I've never baked a slow-rising bread that requires more than one punching-down, and I would like to try it this summer in the early morning hours (the only time it won't be too hot in my house to consider turning on the oven). Something about baking bread seems really soothing to me. We'll see. Maybe I'm romanticizing it.

Keep my garden alive
Every year I plant a garden--vegetables in the back, flowers in the front. Every year I forget to water the vegetables and everything dies except the tomatoes. This year, I want everything to LIVE. Garden, I love you and I want you to live! (Anybody know what that's from?) I'd like to keep the flowers alive too.

Do more yoga
I've started doing some yoga videos and I really like them. They're short and relaxing and encourage me to spend time on things like my desk-warped back and tight hip flexors that I'd normally ignore.

Submit some piece of writing for publication
What piece, you ask? I don't know. What publication, you ask? I don't know. But I'd like to submit something before summer is over. I've got one idea brewing...

Spend time with my middle school girls
There is a rapidly growing number of middle school girls in our youth group, and I want to spend more time with them over the summer. I'm thinking of coffee trips, dessert parties, Bible studies or book groups...who knows? But I'd like to get to know them better and to become more cohesive and supportive as a group.

Sleep
I choose a lot of things before I choose sleep, and maybe it means I get more done in a day but it also makes me grouchy and slug-like on some days (like right this very instant). Sleep is good. And important. I should act like it.

Turn our basement bedroom into my summertime office
I want to turn our guest room into my unofficial "office". There's already a desk there, but the whole room is massively disorganized and undecorated, and I would be way too distracted by its current state to get anything done. So, I'm hoping to spend some time buying paint and putting up shelves. Anybody want to help me? It could be fun....I'll give you some fresh-baked romanticized bread!

Bike more, and swim
I'm going to try to bike places as much as possible instead of driving. This will require a bicycle basket, because I'm not good at hanging onto things like grocery baskets or my purse while riding. I'm barely confident enough to let go with one hand to signal a left turn. I've been mentioning bike baskets to Brad almost constantly. I'd also like to swim this summer--it seems like such a good complement to running, and it's so freaking hot out that submerging my whole self in water is practically a necessity. (By the way--I just learned about two months ago that "compliment" and "complement" are two separate words with two separate meanings! Thanks a lot, English degree.)

Jacob

2008-06-28T10:18:00.000-07:00

I'm back! I've been holding off on the blog posts in the midst of my inner turmoil about what to do with my life. I am pleased to say that I have finally made a decision: I'm quitting my job at the bank, starting a new part-time job as the communications coordinator for my church, and going back to school in the fall to get my MFA in creative writing. I'm excited but nervous and more than a little uncertain of what the future holds...but pretty convicted that this is the right thing to be doing.

I actually have written a couple of blog posts that I never published during the last few months, so I'm including one of them below.

***

For the past few weeks my whole self has been a big jumble of worry, anxiety (are those different?), conviction, questions, dread, uncertainty, certainty, and shallow breaths. I'm thinking about quitting my job, a nice, stable, pretty high-paying IT job at a bank, a corporate 8-5 job, a job I've had for 5 years and been promoted through, to start what seems almost like a new life. Working half time for a church as their communications coordinator without medical benefits, for lower pay but great hours, great job, creativity, and a flexible schedule, while I go back to school to get my MFA in creative writing. I feel so....great about that option. It's the flexible schedule I've wanted for years, the creativity I've yearned for, the meaningful purpose behind the workplace I know I'm never going to find at my bank. With the new job I can read and write and edit and highlight ways people can get involved with ministry or connect with each other. With school I can get my masters and learn to be a better writer and take some steps toward future opportunities. But I don't know exactly what those opportunities are and it really really really really scares me.

I'm afraid of what I'll give up when I quit. I feel like I need that paycheck, that the stability it gives is everything, that IT is such a smart place to be right now, that changing careers, at least the way I want to change them, is kind of a step down the economic chain that no American or responsible, budget-weary wife should be willing to make.

But this job does not help me become who I want to be. I want to be happy. I want to be creative. I want to do something that helps people, that uses my skills, that allows me to laugh and learn new things and wear tennis shoes and work from my house or an office or a park bench or a coffee shop or Brad's office. I want to not feel like a sellout.

God has told me very clearly that my job isn't right for me. I understand that it is his Holy Spirit working in me that has given me that conviction, that has been working in me through the internal discontent that's battled for years against the lure of stability. This job isn't right for me. Staying is practical, and smart, and worldly. It's what my parents would do. It's what my boss would do and has done. But for me staying is settling, and making a decision based on fear, and based on the messed up standards of this world we live in instead of what I'm being told by God about myself. When I think about it like that, I know I have to go. I have to take the risk and choose the thing that's scary but right.

I know I'm going to have these anxieties and uncertainties and second-guessings repeatedly over the next few months. I know I'm in many ways wrestling with God right now. But I think those things we really struggle through define us. And if I struggle with this and then make the decision that's right I believe it will mark me and my life, just like when Jacob wrestled with God and came out of it with both a blessing and a limp. God tells him, "Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel, because you have struggled with God and with men and have overcome." The fact that I have to struggle to follow through with this decision says a lot about who I am and how I think and what I've been taught is the 'right way' to live. But the struggle is defining--the limp may be there, but the knowledge that I've wrestled with God and with men and yet chosen the thing that is best and bravest and right will be with me, blessing me in my life to come.

I like TV

2008-04-07T20:34:00.000-07:00

I like TV. I know there are a lot of people who think that TV is a wasteland and watching it is a shameful waste of time, but I'm not one of them. There are some excellent, well thought out, inspiring/mysterious/hilarious

/true-to-love/heart-pounding/character-driven shows out there that are certainly NOT a waste of my time at all. But I watch too much TV. It's too easy to turn it on when I get home and have it as background noise throughout the evening, to pass several Sunday afternoon hours watching back-to-back episodes of Flip This House or the Barefoot Contessa or America's Next Top Model and end the afternoon feeling like a slug because they have slowly sucked me in, from half-listening in the other room to plopped down on the couch, frantically flipping to something else during the commercials so I don't have to endure one TV-free minute.

So I decided this morning that I should start doing what people sometimes do to stop overeating: I'm going to go to the heart of the problem and address WHY I overeat (in this case, overwatch). Am I bored? Am I lonely? Am I tired? If the reason I watch is for something other than the intrinsic qualities of the show itself, then I am going to turn the TV off. Unless Brad is watching sports, because although that likely does mean I'm feeling bored, lonely, and tired, his sports commitment is out of my hands.

I don't want to be a TV-free minimalist, and I don't want to stop watching the shows I like. But I want to be sure that I'm watching them because they are good in some way, and worthwhile for me at that moment. Maybe instead of Flip That House I'll start tackling some of our house projects, or instead of The Barefoot Contessa I'll start cooking more, or instead of America's Next Top Model, I'll start modeling. Or reading and writing more. There are just too many days where the time flies by and I end them feeling unaccomplished and unsatisfied, and I want to see if paying more attention to what I watch helps me to live a little more and a little better.

one big stir-fry

2008-04-02T20:48:00.000-07:00

Thanks to everyone who commented on my last post. I appreciate all of your insights! I'm continuing to research possibilities, talk to people who actually do the things I'm interested in, etc...we'll see what happens.

But in the meantime...I'm practically drowning in produce. I researched a bit about CSAs and signed up to receive a weekly box of produce (the weekly variety box, to be exact) from Fresh Abundance. The first delivery came on Friday and let me tell you...it contains a lot vegetables for a person living in a single vegetable-eater household. Brad has partaken of some lettuce, the avocado, and a couple of tomatoes...but I have spinach, baby bok choi, pea pods, daikon (I don't even know what that IS!), mixed greens, asparagus, two HUGE zucchinis, ginger, scallions, broccoli, and some assorted fruits that I really want to consume before the next delivery comes on Friday. My insides are basically one big stir-fry right now, which is probably not such a bad thing.

You can buy lots and lots of regular (organic) grocery store items from Fresh Abundance, either in the store or online. There are vast amounts of products on the site. However, I have not yet been inside the store itself because, best of all, there is FREE DELIVERY for all purchases $35 or over. I hate going to the grocery store (and there is one literally three houses away from me), so although I'm only on my first week of this new experiment, it might be tough to get me to quit. Free delivery! Can you believe it? It's probably hidden away in the cost of the produce but I don't even care. Maybe I'm going to turn into a locavore on top of everything else...I'm so of-the-moment. Anyhow, I'm planning to write up a little article going into more details on my produce extravaganza, and perhaps a recipe or two, so I'm sure there is more to come on this topic.

basket case

2008-03-06T17:52:00.001-08:00

As noted in my New Year's resolution post...I really want this to be the year when I figure out what I want to do for a career. Some might say that I have a career already, which is true, but it's ultimately not the career I want. I've started to feel a pretty big sense of urgency to quit being complacent and start really, seriously considering what I'm interested in and then do what I have to do-go back to school, start saving money, sell all my possessions and move to Disneyland...whatever.

I'm really starting to feel overwhelmed with possibilities, because I have a lot of interests, I take to things quickly, and I have a hard time distinguishing what is best kept as a hobby or volunteer work from what would be a good career. Some contenders include writer, editor, entrepreneur with some kind of food-based business like a coffee shop, entrepreneur with some other kind of job, dietitian, teacher of some sort, counselor of some sort, ministry job, or non-profit work.

I'm seriously looking into my options right now as far as writing, editing, and the dietitian thing go. But I would appreciate any insights anyone has for me. Do you do something you love, or are you in school for something now? What is it, and how did you make your decision on what to pursue? Is there something you can really see me doing that you would like to share? Did anyone recently have a prophetic dream about my future that is the answer to all of my problems?

I want to be very diligent about figuring this out, but I have several shortcomings that make this difficult. For starters, I don't like to try things I won't succeed in. Also, I worry too much. Plus, I try to make responsible choices, sometimes at the expense of pursuing my passions. So...I hope I'll figure some things out soon without becoming a basket case in the process. We will see.

tell me this

2008-02-27T20:52:00.000-08:00

I have been home sick with aches/chills/fever/sore throat/congestion/etc. all week. I finally went to the doctor today and got some antibiotics since it appears whatever virus I had originally has become an upper respiratory infection of sorts. I'm hoping to go back to work tomorrow, which is kind of shocking, because I always think not going to work is better than going...but I've learned that, despite my previously held beliefs to the contrary, The Today Show is best viewed irregularly, my couch DOES get uncomfortable after a 72-hour sit-in, and my poor dog is exhausted from having to "nurse" me (basically, just check on me whenever I move, or stand, or groan in discomfort). A few other things I've learned:

No more "Quil"s
I will no longer be taking full doses of anything that ends in "Quil". NyQuil, DayQuil, knockoff generic DayQuil--that means you. I spent the first several hours this morning trying to get over the NyQuil-induced grogginess that lingered from the dose I took last night at 10. Then, I took DayQuil and spent the whole next SIX HOURS in a foggy, dizzy, almost-fainty haze--although I was not feverish or stuffy. But should I have to trade my ability to think coherently and stand steadily for clear nasal passages? No thanks.

I hate 'The View'
The View is a horrible show, and I don't want to listen to those ladies banter anymore. I do like Whoopi Goldberg for hosting in a sweatshirt yesterday.

Tea can be good
I don't really like tea. Not at all. Every so often I make a vow to try to start liking it because I know it's good for me and so many people swear by tea. But I always end up turning away from tea in the end, because it just doesn't taste good enough to be worth it. But, the combination of my intensely sore throat and the wonderful blend of tea my friend Janeen offered me last night may have finally done it--the tea was some sort of caffeine-free spearmint/peppermint/citrus/something and it was SO GOOD and wonderfully soothing. I even asked Brad to go buy me more last night. Once the sore throat goes the tea might too...but it stands a chance this time.

Staying home by yourself is boring
Maybe everyone else knows this already. I always look forward to time home alone, because I'm a private person and an introvert and time alone refreshes me. Plus, there are plenty of things I don't like trying to get done when other people are here. Like cleaning. Or eating things that contain vegetables. But when you're home alone and you are sick, that is a different story. I have been bored out of my brains, ready to blow up the TV and my couch, but unable to because of the aforementioned dizzy aches. I am ready to interact with the world again.

So tell me this: what are your favorite things to do when you're home sick? What kind of tea do you like, and what would you recommend for me? (note: I think I really like minty teas) What do you find lovable about Joy Behar?

What am I doing?!

2008-02-17T09:19:00.001-08:00

I am normally a pretty big fan of the snow, and I love it that Spokane has four distinct seasons--it's one of my favorite things about living here. But the weather is gray again today, and we got another inch of snow a couple of days ago, and the old snow still isn't gone yet but instead is constantly oscillating between melt and re-freeze. Yuck.

I have fallen three times in the last month, all on Wednesdays. The first time I can't really blame on the snow, although right now I would like to be able to. I was running on the treadmill at the gym and I wanted to adjust the fan. But I hate stopping and restarting the treadmill, so what I always do is lift myself up with my arms, put my feet on the edges of the treadmill so that they're no longer on the actual conveyor, and then jump off. No problem. Then I do whatever it is I got off for, like have a drink of water, tie my shoe, move a fan, etc., and jump back on the same way.

Well, I got off the treadmill without incident, and adjusted the fan, but then it was like my whole mind went completely blank (and stupid) and the next thing I remember, my foot is just inches away from stepping directly on the moving treadmill--I'm trying to get on it the same way I would if the conveyor were motionless. I had one split second to think, "What am I doing?! I am going to fall! This is so stupid!" and then I did. One foot down, one huge fall off the back of the treadmill, three undesirable spectators, and two huge gashes of skin missing. I didn't get very hurt, but I think I might get out of this with two nice scars. It must have looked so funny, because it really was just the stupidest thing in the world. It clearly wasn't a balance issue, a speed issue, or any of the other things that contribute to most falls off treadmills (and that, in fact, contributed when I fell off once before...), just pure unadulterated idiocy.

Two Wednesdays later, I fell in a parking lot after youth group. I was just walking to the car, not taking any foolish chances, and then I was lying on the ground. I think I escaped that one without a single scrape or injury though, and only had two witnesses that time.

But then...I fell when I was running last week. There's a foot bridge that goes over Hamilton and I run over it quite a bit. I was out for a run with someone I work with and two guys she is friends with who I don't really know. Going over this bridge right now means essentially running down a hill covered in a sheet of ice, so we had just slowed down to walk, and then, right at the very moment I started walking instead of running, down I went. Five witnesses this time: the three people I was running with, plus a homeless man WHO HAD ALSO FALLEN right there and was still lying on the ground, plus the EMT who was there to rescue him!

The fortunate thing for me is that I have been able to get back up on my feet and soldier on after each of my embarrassing falls, because the only thing that has been really hurt is my pride. I have seen other falls though...one particularly funny/tragic one about two weeks ago. A large middle-aged lady and what looked to be her much smaller but equally middle-aged spouse were crossing the street downtown, and they walked onto one of those vast sheets of ice that you can never get any traction on. So the lady goes down, and she's frantically reaching out to her husband to try to catch her balance, and she drags him down with her. So there they are, both lying flat on the sheet of ice He manages to get up, and he's trying to help her, but she can't move! And since she can't get her feet down on anything that's not icy, he starts DRAGGING her across the sheet of ice to a clearer part of the sidewalk. She didn't seem to be hurt at all so it was mostly just a tragically comedic moment for me...one I think I deserved after all of the fall-related entertainment I've been providing others with recently.

(Note: I've also fallen twice in Albertsons, but those falls weren't on Wednesdays and were more than a month ago so I'm not going to share those embarrassing details here.)

caucus today

2008-02-09T11:13:00.001-08:00

I am going to caucus today for the first time ever and I'm a little nervous about it! But excited. Obama '08, right everybody? I'm preparing myself by drinking about 12 cups of coffee. We had a sleepover at our house with Autumn and Ross last night and Brad made a whole bunch of coffee this morning, but no one drank much of it so I'm making up the difference. Also, I'm going to run to the caucus, which I think is funny. We're pretty much down to one car, which Brad has to take to work today, because Brad's red Nissan is lost, lost, lost in the snow--it's almost invisible, totally covered in snow, actually, and plowed in, and even if it wasn't it does not drive well in the icy, snowy winter at all. Our caucus location is only two miles away so running seemed like a good alternative mode of transportation. So there I will be at 1:00 today at Ferris High School, sweaty, jittery, and probably mildly to moderately confused. But excited about an election and a candidate for the first time in my life.

uncle frank

2008-01-31T19:32:00.000-08:00

and on the dawn of february...i do have some resolutions for 2008.

spend time writing more than once a week
originally i thought maybe i should commit to doing this every day, but that is simply too much for me to handle right now. writing includes blogs, journal entries, MFA writing samples, and myriad other possibilities...but does NOT include emails. because that would be the lazy man's way.

focus on ways i can be optimistic
in 'home alone', kevin mccallister's dad tells uncle frank, when it seems "WE SLEPT IN!" and are probably all going to miss the flight to paris, "think positive!" the curmudgeonly frank replies, "you think positive, i'll be realistic." i think i have more than i want of that uncle frank attitude within me. i'm a very practical person and i think that to maintain practicality i tend to neglect optimism...which ultimately leads to pessimism. i want to think more about what's possible and how to make the good things happen instead of looking for reasons why they can't.

pray in the mornings while i walk the dog
there. so much more specific than last year's "pray more". this is something i can work on. and i walk emmy every day, so i really have no excuse not to follow through with this.

and in related news--pray for my husband and my marriage every day
perhaps i should do this on my morning walk!

figure out what i'm supposed to do for work
i feel really overwhelmed with possibilities and interests and absolutely uncertain of what path to pursue. i really hate it. i want to do something i love and am passionate and excited about, that benefits me and others and that uses my intelligence and gifts. but i'm kind of lost right now and i really really really want this to be the year that i figure out what direction to move in...however slowly.

start doing exercises to strengthen my back
my poor, neglected back. the abs get all the glory and it's just not fair. or right. back, it's your time to shine!

re-read my list of 2008 resolutions before 2009
if history is any indication, i'll forget a few of these bad boys before next year.

phone call

2008-01-14T19:35:00.000-08:00

i just received a phone call from the arc of spokane. they collect clothing and household items and provide services for the developmentally disabled. there are a lot of things i want to donate to them so i was really glad to see their name on the caller ID. but the mood turned from childlike excitement to pure childishness when, after i answered, the nice old lady on the phone asked, "is mama home?"

hmmm...all i could really do what a) be extremely grateful that this didn't happen during a face-to-face encounter at my front door and b) embarrassedly reply, "this is."

ahh, youth.

this happened!

2008-01-06T16:23:00.000-08:00

all this week i've been trying to decide on what new year's resolutions i want to try for in 2008. i've gotten the list down to a few finalists but i'm still not ready to post them. but i thought i'd look at how things went for 2007. the resolutions were...

run 1000 miles
i did it! this happened! i tracked my mileage for most of the year with nike+. it broke in the fall but i totaled my pretty darn close to exact estimated mileage and i ran about 1332 miles last year! i'm pleased.

start wearing face lotion that contains sunscreen
i did this! i'm pleased again! i got this lotion i like quite a bit. it is clean and clear oil-free oxygenating ultra-light moisturizer spf 15. i like it so much that i wear it every day without even thinking about it. i also bought a body lotion with spf 15 that i like quite a bit too - vaseline intensive care daily skin shield. neither lotion is smelly or greasy.

pray more
oh my. when i first wrote down that resolution i made a note that it was written in a vague, immeasurable way, which is so true that i have no idea how to figure out if the goal was accomplished. i don't think i prayed ENOUGH. but i may have prayed more than in 2006. hmmm.

worry less
again...the vagueness. actually, i think i did worry less about some of the things that i used to be overly concerned about, like money. so that's good. and we've made up our minds more about who and what to give money TO, so that is also good. A+.

keep in better touch with friends
i feel pretty good about this. it doesn't hurt that i got to see lots of friends over the holidays, or that we just sent out and received a bunch of christmas cards so i feel extra connected to people right now. either way, i'll take it.

a perfect storm

2008-01-02T21:03:00.000-08:00

as i get older i've been trying to dress a little better. i wish i could say i had found my elusive "personal style", but at this point i'm mostly trying to wear things that fit and flatter me. i try not to buy things that are too trendy or too, shall we say, cutesy, mostly because i am one of the youngest people at my work and don't want to emphasize my babyness, and also as someone who works with teenagers i don't want to look exactly like a kid in my non-work hours either.

but this morning i had an incident. a perfect storm, if you will. i was wearing a pale green puffy coat (a child's coat with fake fur trim....oh my), fake costco uggs (with my pants tucked into them! but that really is the best way to go in the snow) AND a white snow hat with a ball on top. it was 6:45 am and i was going out to walk the dog, and it was still dark, and i broke one of my cardinal rules, which is that i simply am not allowed to ever wear the hat and coat in combination, because i really don't know what could be cutesier or trendier. i was sure i would see no one. but of course my neighbor was outside leaving for work and wanted to have a conversation. he was like, "is my baby keeping you up at night when he cries?" and i was like, "no - are you secretly cringing because of my outfit? do i make you want to die inside?"

even worse was a couple of weeks ago when i wore the puffy-coat-and-faux-uggs-tucked-into-pants ensemble on a very brief trip to albersons when i ran into about 10 former high school students who were oh so cool and buying cigarettes. i was so embarrassed. also, i had been crying, for undisclosed reasons, right until the point of entering the store. it was a perfect night.

so the rule is: hat and coat=not okay. hat and boots=okay. coat and boots=okay outside, not okay at albertsons.

something something but...

2008-01-01T17:01:00.001-08:00

is it just me? i know a lot of nice people, and people who do the right thing and are kind and are generous and forgiving and all of those good things. and here's something i hear a lot when they're talking about other people:

"i love her, but..." "i like him a lot, but..." "his mom is great and i love her, but..." "don't get me wrong, i love him to death, but..." "she's super nice but..."

i think all of these "something something buts" are actually us nice people saying, "i'm really nice, but still i have to say..." and "you know i'm not a judgmental jerk but i want you to know..." and "you know me, i'm a good person, but..."

i do this myself sometimes and i think it's kind of stupid. i'm going to try not to qualify my comments with a "please like me anyway, but..." maybe it's better to say what you think and let it stand for itself or just keep it to yourself to begin with.

the blizzard continues

2007-12-01T13:14:00.000-08:00

i am trapped inside because it is snowing. i meant to be running right now and when i saw it start to snow a couple of hours ago i thought, well i'll just wait until it dies down and then go out. but i think the snow had a blizzard in mind and dying down does not seem to be in progress. i just checked the weather report and the news is grim. snow snow snow. which i love except when i've procrastinated leaving the house for way too long like i have today.

so i am trying to do some online christmas shopping. i've never really bought much online before but this is, oh you know, about 8 years into the new millennium so maybe it's time for me to catch on. but i really don't even know how to get started. i've been looking at jewelry and there are these super cute earrings at www.greenergrassdesign.com by anne black. i think they would make a great gift for a certain someone - except that the dimensions are not listed. they could either be the perfect little drop earring size or else they could hang down to the shoulders. and wobble to and fro. i'm not ready to risk it. if anyone knows the perfect place to buy affordable, non-supersized earrings, please advise me.

ok...i need to buck up and go out there. the blizzard continues. so i think i might go run on the treadmill in the gym in the fortress that is my work basement. i always worry a teeny bit when i run there because i feel it would be a great set for a horror movie. not to insult my work but it's like a maze down there with locks and doors and passageways. brad tells me this is exactly why i do not need to worry about running there - even if someone wanted to make me horror movie prey there's no way they could ever find me. but all the same i think i'll call someone to say where i'll be...just in case.

jane fondas

2007-09-22T11:30:00.000-07:00

typo/spelling/content check free - good luck!

so it seems that i'm not going to be a marathoner in two weeks anymore. i hurt my dumb hip. i haven't run in almost three weeks now, and my hip still feels kinda off. it feels pretty good most of the time (except i limp a lot and i'm not even aware of it anymore) but i've attempted a couple of 30 second runs and learned that running still causes a significant amount of pain. so...goodbye bellingham marathon. maybe hello bellingham half marathon, if i can heal soon. maybe hello tri cities marathon october 28th? i'm not sure yet. it really sucks because i have spent over three months on a strict training plan. i've run two 20 mile runs, one 21.5 mile run, a couple of 16s, an 18, two 19s, and a whooooooole bunch of things in the 5 to 14 range. many of them at 5 in the morning. many of them on saturdays when i wanted to be sleeping. and now that might have all been something i was doing toward no goal whatsoever.

what happened was a combination of lots of running and a weak muscle - my gluteus medius, which i don't know a whole lot about except that i am strengthening mine now through leg lifts, which my physical therapist calls "jane fondas", and something he calls "monster walks", which means walking sideways with a resistance band around my ankles. the gluteus medius sits along the pelvis (i think?) and helps to stabilize the hips/pelvis in running and other things. since my muscles were weak, i was unstable and one hip was rotated farther forward than the other one, which in turn made my IT band get really tight, which meant that it could smoothly glide over my hip bone region and started to cause some pain, which is when i finally noticed that things weren't quite right. i've learned a few things from this...

1. don't run when your legs don't feel quite right. if i had taken a day or two off when i first felt that something was a little "off" in my left leg i might have saved myself a whole lot of weeks off in the end.

2. i thought (subconsciously) i was really invulnerable to injury. i've never really been injured in my life so despite the fact that lots of people sustain running injuries it didn't occur to me i might be one of them. now i know to pay a little more attention to how i'm feeling.

3. it might have been a bit much to go from training for bloomsday (i was really, really, really concerned about running it in under an hour, which i did, thank our lucky stars), straight from that into training for the coeur d'alene half marathon, and straight from that into a 16 week training program for the marathon. i tried to follow reasonable training plan for all of that. but i'm newer to being super serious about running and all of that back to back was probably too much.

4. strength training is really important. i do strength train. but i did less when i started running more. and i certainly was not doing jane fondas or even considering my poor neglected gluteus medius one bit. my gluteus medius didn't like being neglected and it let me know. so i think i'm going to ask my PT (which is a physical therapist but i keep accidentally referring to him as my personal trainer) for exercises to complete as long as i keep running so that i don't ignore essential parts of me again.

5. my doctor was virtually no help with this, but my "personal trainer" was so helpful. i've had to go in twice a week for a few weeks and he explained everything about how this happened, how to strengthen the muscles to keep it from happening again, showed me muscles and joints on a skeleton, and was generally just really helpful and not at all rushed as if 10 other patients were sitting in hospital gowns in their respective rooms waiting for his attention. my doctor's advice was to take a few days off running and he explained virtually nothing about hip injuries. so lesson learned - i'm going to the physical therapist as soon as possible if something like this happens again. no offense, doctors...but i like to understand what's happening and what to do to fix it, and my doctor didn't seem to care that i understood or not. also, he seemed to think that doing a marathon was kind of silly. whatev, doctor. whatev.

soooooooooo now i'm not sure what to do. i've been spending an undesirable amount of time on the elliptical machine and the recumbant bike and missing the fine september weather we're having. but i am catching up on the classy magazines at the gym, which mostly consist of US Weekly and Star. awesome.

brad and joel are brewing their own beer right now in the kitchen and arguing about what a "rolling boil" is so i think i might go get involved. since i'm not out doing the 16 mile run i was supposed to do this weekend. meee :(

tagged

2007-08-13T20:07:00.000-07:00

i have been tagged by my sister kathleen. i am not going to really follow all of the rules of being tagged i don't think. but i will share eight facts about myself. i will not probably be tagging eight other friends with blogs to post THEIR eight facts. that is mostly because i only have about .2 friends with blogs. so now that all of that business is out of the way...

FACT 1: sometimes i talk in my sleep. but apparently i seem very awake and am capable of carrying on full, two-sided conversations. here is a dialog from a couple of nights ago. brad gave me a recap the next day.
Sarah - "What the heck? What the hell?!"
Brad - What's wrong?"
S - "I had a dream, and I threw the candy bar on the ground. I had to just throw it down."
B - "You threw the candy bar on the ground?"
S - "Yes. I'm a factory."

FACT 2: something is wrong with my sense of smell. i think it is degenerating. my nose always seems kind of stuffed, i SNORE (in addition to talking in my sleep), and i can't smell half the things brad can. it didn't used to be this way - i think i should probably go to the nose doctor and see if i have a deviated septum or something. the thing that worries me is that i might smell really bad sometimes and have no idea. for example - i know my running clothes smell a little because i sweat in them. but what if it's far worse than i realize and everyone at the gym at my work is like, "OMG - have you SMELLED sarah hauge??? she is disgusting and her locker STINKS. i hate working with her." stuff like that. little kid things...

FACT 3: when i was little i was obsessed with the movies the parent trap and the sound of music and went through phases of watching them almost daily. just this morning the song "Let's Get Together" from the parent trap burst into my head. and i burst into song. also - fact 3(a) - i used to think it would be a good idea for me to get a haircut identical to the one haley mills wore in the movie. one adorable short blond semi-curly haircut atop my round pink head. i'm probably very lucky the desired haircut never materialized but those would have been some funny pictures.

FACT 4: i think i have switched into the kind of person who really, genuinely likes to eat healthy food. fruit, vegetables, soy products of all sorts, whole grains, high percentage of cacao chocolate, homemade everything to keep out the random fats and salt and preservatives...that's me! and i'm slowly transforming brad too, much to his chagrin. except - my vice - a daily diet pepsi. what could be more wholesome??

FACT 5: i am a mega lightweight. one drink is all it takes for me to "feel it in my legs", as i like to describe it. i can seriously feel a little something after about two sips of wine. but i don't like to drink much so that's fine me.

FACT 6: i'm a bigtime reader. i read quite a bit. i love novels, more theological/spiritual-based things, blogs, forums, cooking books and magazines galore, money and fitness articles, magazines of all sorts, short stories...etc. one of the best things about my life right now is that i take the bus to work and have about 25 glorious (sometimes frustrating, because let's face it, the people on the bus can be shockingly loud and obnoxious) minutes each way to spend reading whatever i please.

FACT 7: i've written since i was very little. someone gave me a diary for a present when i was three or four years old and i started writing in it right away. it's really funny but also kind of amazing (does that sound conceited? maybe i think i was a prodigy) to read it now and see that i actually sat down to journal about real things at about age four. but then in the same journal it progresses on to kindergarten-esque writing to early elementary school writing and on and on. the letters get smaller and more legible. but i was a writer all along.

FACT 8: some i've nevers - i've never broken a bone. i've never had braces. i've never played on a sports team. i never saw star wars until sometime in high school and i still haven't really seen it since i fell asleep. i've never eaten a twinkie or a ho ho or a snowball or any of those other bizarre hostess products. i've never smoked. i've never cooked a thanksgiving turkey and likely never will since i'm a new vegetarian. i've never been in a car accident or gotten a ticket.

some i haves - i've missed the bus many times and have to run to the bus stop at least twice a week. i've learned to be a fairly good cook and a decent but inexpert baker. i've traveled to many states and a few countries and am looking forward to my first european excursion in the fall. i've learned a lot about contemporary music and gotten myself up to speed remarkably well (in my opinion) in the past 12 or so years, especially considering that my formative years were spent mostly listening to whatever was playing on KOMO am 1000 in my mom's station wagon and then KXLY in my mom's forthcoming minivan. i've become a major dog person since getting our dog emmy as a puppy a little over a year ago. i've become one of those people who gets really restless when they're not doing something - if you make me sit still all day i start to go crazy (whereas once i would have been content to read a book, totally stationary on the couch, each and every day of summer). i've grown in my love of ice cream with each passing year. i've had the same best friends for over 10 years, since junior high.

that was fun!

ever so subtle

2007-07-19T07:09:00.000-07:00

a house in our neighborhood that emmy and i walk past approximately 489830 times a week is for sale. it's a really cute house so when they finally put out their fliers yesterday i took one. apparently their real estate agent is an idiot, as i read the following in a lengthy paragraph she had written:

"This is a package that will provide the ultimate for gentile living both inside and out."

i suppose in my own way i do partake in gentile living but i didn't realize that we were doing some ever so subtle racial/religious profiling in the comstock neighborhood. live and learn...

it is HOT

2007-07-11T22:48:00.000-07:00

it is HOT. so hot. around 90 degrees in the room where our computer lives. it's 10:49 p.m. and i'm wearing my swimsuit. and it's just going to get hotter....oh hell.

the reason i'm wearing the swimsuit is that we're going to the lake this weekend so i wanted to peruse my options. basically i hate them all. maybe i'm a little too critical. but it's true, not one awesome, supportive, stunning swimsuit in the bunch. but i will say, a swimsuit is very comfortable evening attire when you're in a heatwave and you don't have air conditioning and your windows date back to 1949.

whose idea was it to train for a marathon in the middle of the freaking summer??

50 50 50

2007-06-26T20:13:00.000-07:00

so i am taking an online class called 'the craft of magazine writing'. my assignment for today is to make a list of 50 topics i would be interested in writing about. that was fun. but i'm not sure how much people would be interested in READING these little gems. so i'm going to post my list here. if you want to give me some feedback about your favorites, maybe i'll write you an article or two. some have semi-intriguing titles, some titles are hopelessly boring. FYI.

1. corporate drones: why don't they break free?
2. how to find the perfect running partner or group
3. dinner parties 101
4. veronica mars, arrested development, and other great shows cancelled in their prime. why???
5. penpalling it: seeing the world without leaving the U.S. of A.
6. top 10 classic books every adult should read and why
7. what to do when you and your dog are approached by a scary stray
8. when to plant bulbs for year-round blossoms
9. corporate fitness - what innovative companies are doing (hint: yours should be too)
10. how to get $ back for "green" home updates
11. how to plan a trip to europe that won't leave you destitute
12. don't call me: creative ways friends keep in touch
13. how to start a small business
14. "stay at home moms" who bring home the bacon
15. 10 most outrageous Harry Potter release parties
16. what you need to know: essentials for your first half-marathon
17. MVPs of spokane home improvements
18. teaching english in a foreign country: what's it really like?
19. who are the downtownies? inside spokane's street culture
20. a day in the life: hanging out with a restaurant/bakery owner
21. spokane's best running routes
22. why do people hate math?
23. food staples of the meat-free cook
24. high school bands that made it big
25. my tv-free month: confessions of a pop culture junkie
26. clicker training your dog to do whatever you want
27. philosophy majors: where are they now?
28. spokane entrepreneurs, just starting out
29. the best road trip ever: 'n sync '99
30. the best road trip ever, part II: justin timberlake '07
31. the five best marathons for first-timers
32. the five best pop culture podcasts
33. how to succeed with your mini vegetable garden
34. how to raise generous kids in a material world
35. cool charities that give you something, too
36. how have we all changed since high school?
37. who's who of the farmers market
38. cities that are going green and greener
39. what's behind those glasses? getting to know your local librarian
40. who's going back to school and why you should too
41. how to teach your dog to love running
42. how to teach your husband to love running
43. mission trips: what's the point?
44. how does church in childhood impact faith in adults?
45. is it really so hard to build muscle?
46. who does what: how to divide the chores
47. board games for thinkers and mathletes
48. who are the ironmen?
49. my first marathon
50. behind the scenes at local ice creameries

i barely even got to some things i love, like movies, lots more tv than i mentioned, and unlimited other interests i have...anyway, if any of these strike your fancy let me know.

bigtime stuff

2007-06-23T07:47:00.000-07:00

i think i am going to do the bellingham bay marathon in october. the first ever. the one and only. and also my first ever. i'm excited but nervous because i haven't found a training partner or training group and the next 16 weeks are going to involve A LOT of running and it is going to be very hot out. i am about to run 12 miles with my friend bekka who, unfortunately for me, will be moving away in about a month and might not be able to accompany me on runs ever again. so i am eating a whole wheat english muffin with peanut butter (it is very, very, very delicious for some reason - maybe because it's toasted? or because i'd rather be sitting and eating than getting ready to go?) and thinking about how i should go put on my super athletic pink running tank top (it makes me kind of self conscious...it just seems so official like i think i'm bigtime stuff) and probably sunscreen and brush my teeth. boring! i'm glad i have a partner for today.

is anybody interested in doing the inaguaral bellingham bay marathon, half marathon, or 10k on october 7??? you can
"be a part of history", as the website told me i could. and you can train with me!

question: what is your favorite team sport and why OR what is your favorite solo sport/activity and why?

time to go....

must read

2007-06-02T13:56:00.001-07:00

i just did something that was really fun but also made me feel like a little kid: i rode my bike, helmet and everything, even though it is supposed to be 95 today, to the library. the library is not very far away but it was still a little harrowing because a) i barely ever ride a bike, although i want to a lot more, b) the side street i took back home had no turnoffs and forced me to travel on the very busy, very scary grand boulevard, and c) because we don't have a bike lock so i spent the whole time in the library hoping the bike would still be there when i left. but all of that was ok.

i went to the library to find some classic books to read. there are quite a few "must reads" that i have never read, so those are the types of things i was looking for. huckleberry finn, madame bovary, vanity fair, etc. but the selection at the library was kind of disappointing. the only copy of huck finn i could find was GINORMOUS and hardback and not very portable either for the bike or the bus every day to work. and lots of things just weren't there at all. i hate hate hate jane austen books, but i know people love her so i was going to give her another try, but the only two books they had were pride and prejudice and sense and sensibility, both of which i have read already. the only book they had by any of the bronte sisters was wuthering heights, which i own. the only fitzgerald book they had was the great gatsby, which i also own. etc. i should have come prepared with a list of books to look for. next time i will. today i got oliver twist, which i hope i will like. i almost got the pickwick papers only because they talk about them in book 3 of the anne of green gables series, anne of the island. but oliver twist seemed like more of a must read. who knows though...but i want to read A LOT this summer. in my backyard with a DP soda by my side.

question: what are your favorite "classic" books? i accept both classics in the traditional sense and also modern day classics. the classics of the future. the classics of the space age.

the great city of minneapolis

2007-05-18T14:38:00.000-07:00

earlier this week i went on my first ever business trip, to the great city of minneapolis. it was for a technical writing conference. here are some things i learned:

1. minneapolis is pretty cool. i mean i only got a small taste of it because i had no car and no tour guide, but i thought the city was pretty nice and the trails all along the mississippi riverfront were AWESOME. i had so much fun running along them every morning for some reason. sometimes here at home i dread running outside because it's so much more work for me than treadmill running, but minneapolis trails are nice. i love being on the water.

2. minneapolis shuts down at 7 pm, every day. except i wasn't there on a friday or saturday night, so maybe they don't shut down at 7 on those days. but all of the other days, all of the stores and cafes and everything close at 7! what are you supposed to do then???

3. i love cities where you can get everywhere by foot. i walked and ran 1 billion miles and i just really, really prefer to explore new places that way. i went to loring park, the spoon and cherry sculpture thing, cafe brenda (delicious vegetarian cuisine, since i'm maybe a vegetarina now??? HAHA - vegetarina. that's a girl vegetarian.), the mississippi riverfront, several other parks, target (apparently, minneapolis is the home of my favorite megastore, target. who knew? i visited it several times. target is one of the only places that is open until the late, great hour of 9 pm), a little hint of "eat street", the stone arch bridge, nicollet island, hell's kitchen, and back and forth 5000000 times from the minneapolis hilton to the minneapolis convention center.

4. people in minneapolis are more fashionable than people in spokane. at least girls my age are. their shoes are 44889 times better. i need to learn to dress like a young minneapolis professional.

5. the mall of america is LAME! i took the light rail there. it actually was not entirely, entirely lame, but i thought, for some reason, that it would be much, much bigger than it actually is. i expected to get lost in the mall and not be able to find my way out (that is why i wrote down the entrance name and nearby stores on the back of my light rail ticket when i first got there. i was scared.)

overall, i think my first business trip was a success. i was kind of nervous for it. but everything went great until it was time to return to spokane. first, my flight was delayed, which i didn't know until i got to the airport. then, i fell asleep on the flight and woke up feeling very, very queasy. i was afraid that if i got up i would faint and throw up in the aisle of the plane, because i have had that happen once before, so i toughed it out and remained seated, in a very miserable position, until we finally landed. i put my head down most of the time and COULD NOT stop thinking about the grilled vegetable sandwich, featuring eggplant, that i had had for dinner. i couldn't get it out of my head, and it was seriously grossing me out. finally we got off the plane, and i was going to hurry to the bathroom when i realized i probably wouldn't make it that far and so i ended up very glamorously throwing up in a garbage can right behind the ticket counter as people deplaned. here's a fact: people don't care when you get sick in public. i was throwing up. no one cared. they just walked by. one man saw my stuff scattered all around me and asked if i was just "organizing myself". i said, no, i had just gotten airsick. he said ok and walked away. WHY did he want to help me if i was just "organizing myself", but not it i were sick?? people are weird. on our way home i had to have brad pull over so i could very glamorously throw up on the side of the road. a man walking by stopped to say, "too much fun at the party??" then he laughed and walked away. thanks a lot.

hotshot

2007-04-30T20:39:00.000-07:00

so it seems like it would probably be a good idea to check in on how the old new year's resolutions are coming along. probably the reason i want to do this is because there is one i know i'm doing a good job on and i want recognition. check out my previous blog, "so this is the new year", for all the facts on my hopes and dreams for 2007.

run 1000 miles
i think i am doing great so far. i've been tracking my mileage like nobody's business, and things are going along quite nicely. running. who knew i would like it? but i do. how i remember those days at canyon park junior high and then bothell high school, when running two miles made me want to throw up, i spent approximately 75% of the time walking, and i never once got a PR. i was not in good shape. but very oblivious to that fact - i thought running was just not for me. well, think again hotshot. i've run 443.2 miles so far this year.

start wearing face lotion that contains sunscreen
i am AWESOME! 100% resolutions achieved. not only have i been wearing face lotion with sunscreen, i've also decided to take things to the next level and use body lotion with sunscreen. praise me. this is basically the reason why i wanted to check in on my resolutions. sunscreen is something i've always been an idiot about. but i realized - the sun hurts me. i am pale. i am never going to be tan. so why try? i should take care of myself.

pray more
and now the failures begin....i never did specify how i was going to do this, or how i would know if i had achieved this goal. but i think i've been trying to think about and connect with God more during the day, and i've been reflecting on things quite a bit. but am i praying enough for myself, brad, my friends, my family, the world, my future, that i will know God better? definitely not. i need to give more time to this because it really matters to me. i believe in it. i should act like it.

worry less
hmmm...again, kind of unquantifiable and therefore, who knows how i'm doing? i feel less stressed out sometimes. but i think that i'm still too uptight about things, too much in need of control over situations where i cannot or should not be in control, and too concerned with what people think and what i should be doing, rather than just being and living and going for things. sooooooo.

keep in better touch with friends
i've been much better at keeping in touch with my best friends. we are emailing a lot. we just had a friendship reuinion weekend. i fail at phone calls. i fail at keeping in touch with lots of my other good friends, my brother, my former d group girls. i'm glad i'm reevaluating these. i miss those people.

if you're reading this - what were your new year's resolutions? how are they going?

emmy is crying and has been for several minutes now. i better go see why.

zaftig

2007-04-29T16:48:00.000-07:00

i am so tired. i wish i were a better napper. i am not good at taking naps on purpose, and when i just fall asleep on the couch or quelquechose comma ca, it never seems very satisfying because it was oh so unofficial. i had some of my favorite friends here visiting this weekend and it was really fun. last night we went to dinner at the safari grill in the davenport tower and told each other what we thought the best career for each one of us would be. i thought it was really fun, and i think it was also practical for me. BUT now i really do have to become a writer and/or open a center for overall nutrition and exercise help (is that the gist of it autumn? am i leaving something out?). it's nice when people you love and respect and who truly know you say what they think you would be good at because you know that a) they want you to be happy and fulfilled and b) they probably know what would make you feel that way. so i'm closing up the cookie shop. slash just baking cookies at home more often for my own enjoyment.

i'm about to go lie very still on the couch and finish digesting my cereal before i do my last pre-bloomsday long run. i do not feel up for it. but hopefully my good friend michael aussiello (sp?) will make me laugh and fill my mind with tidbits on gilmore girls and veronica mars via the weekly tv guide podcast. oh how i love podcasts. i will be so happy when project runway comes back and i can hear tim gunn tell me what things are inconceivable, zaftig, and worthy of being probed.

gotta get inside that poof!

2007-04-22T20:50:00.000-07:00

i am the worst blogger in the world. i really like writing my thoughts, and i think about stuff i want to write about all the time, but i never feel like i have the chance to sit down and do it. i just feel like there's no TIME for things when you have a full time job. i'm always choosing between the things i like and only getting to do a few of them, while i spend hours and hours at work every week. aggravation. that's why i'm going to quit everything and open a business where i bake and sell cookies. all cookies, all the time.

i saw the movie hot fuzz today and it was so hilarious. i really, really liked it. the violence was sometimes extreme, but really, really funny. really, really. i'm not all that into violence as amusement generally speaking, but the most violent image in the movie made me laugh out loud. but violence aside, it was so great in other ways. sometimes when i go to see movies that i know have a lot of buzz with certain types of people, or when they're by writers/directors/actors i like, i feel some sort of responsibility to like the movie i'm watching. this could have been like that, since i love shaun of the dead and i wanted to like this movie. but absolutely no effort on my part was required for me to love it. and that's i think the best compliment i can give. that's my highest endorsement.

i gave emmy a bath today. i was hoping that a bath might alleviate some of the fur weirdness she has going on right now. she grew this long second coat of fur in the winter, which was very useful for her since it was freezing cold and she likes to be out in the snow a lot. but NOW she is going back to an overall shorter haired look...on her back and head only. TOP of her head. her neck, spine, chest, and back legs have this ridiculous long hair all over them, which we fondly refer to as her "poof". (gotta get inside that poof!) and the rest of her is shorthaired. she looks ridiculous and kind of wolf-like. i was hoping that in the bath any remaining long fur would magically fall out and she would be beautifully shorthaired and not shed another strand until next year. but she looks just as ridiculous as ever. the other day someone asked brad if he could "pet your wolf dog." it's the neck poof that prompts that sort of talk. but i still love her in all her weirdness.

soooooo i guess i have to be lame again and quit writing to go do some laundry. boo hiss.

joie

2007-03-18T20:30:00.000-07:00

the problem with me and blogging is that oftentimes when i feel like doing it, i am not at home and can't. sometimes i write down my blogs on paper...like at work a few weeks ago, when i wrote the following. i was feeling kind of gloomy. i'm less gloomy now but i still think the same things...and feel them quite a bit sometimes.

**

i'm not sure if this is where the quote (paraphrased) is from or not - but i believe it was topher grace's character in the movie in good company who said that we are living our lives at such a pace now that, where people used to have mid-life crises in their actual mid-lives, now we're having them much sooner. it feels true. i'm 26 years old. that is young. and i know it's normal to be figuring out who you are and what you want at this age. but i feel like the questions i have - is corporate life a waste, is money a blessing or a curse - should not be what i'm thinking about, but rather the thoughts of an older generation. i feel like there's a lot of pressure on me from somewhere, and i don't know exactly where that is, to make RESPONSIBLE choices instead of ones based on something meaningful and lasting. maybe the pace of life isn't prompting this so much as it really is me figuring out what i want and what i know about myself - which, so far, seems to be that cubicle life, no matter how nice the cubicle, co-workers, pay, stability, or challenges might be - is zapping me of joie de vivre. because i don't know what the point of doing this is. i can do, and am doing, good work here. it's a billion times better than where i've been. but that doesn't make it satisfying or right, and it does not justify settling. lots of people, MOST people, will never even dream of having a fraction of the opportunities i do. it's wronging me, and them, and God, i think, for me to settle for anything less than the joy of living.

semifine semisweet chocolate

2007-02-13T18:06:00.000-08:00

i'm addicted to chocolate chips. i think i might be slowly evolving into what people so cleverly refer to as a chocoholic. i love chocolate. dark chocolate. chocolate chips poured into and then fished out of a mug so that they don't melt in the palm of my hand. they're delicious. the best thing is that the more i read about chocolate, dark chocolate, specifically, is the more i learn how good it is for you. so many antioxidants, so good for the heart, so much deliciousness. as runnersworld.com told me, chocolate is, in fact, a plant food. of course that means that you're supposed to consume it in as close to its natural state as possible, i.e. not much sugar, milk, caramel, etc. added. but that's fine with me. as long as it's semisweet. semifine semisweet chocolate.

so i've been thinking about something. i feel a little awkward about it. but i think i want to try to be a writer. i don't know what i want to write. magazine articles? childrens books? online articles? fiction? commentaries? blogs? there's a lot that i like and a lot that i'm not sure i'd be great at, but the fact is that i like to write quite a bit. i might even like writing as much as i like reading, which is a lot. also, i think i'm a pretty good writer. i'm probably not often going to showcase my best work HERE per se, and contrary to what i may lead you to believe, i do know how to capitalize in the right places...but overall, i can write well. so that is a very vague, very fuzzy announcement of what i would like to do. nothing concrete here thanks. but it's only recently that i've realized that maybe i shouldn't just say that in my ideal world where i'm living my dream life i'd be a writer and start trying to think of ways that i can be a writer in my actual life.

semi-extraordinary circumstances

2007-02-12T07:32:00.000-08:00

i am so tired. last night instead of going to bed right when we got home from a meeting, we watced the tivo'd grammys. (grammies? grammys. that's right.) i thought they were pretty good though. i was surprised by how much of the recording we actually wanted to watch. i thought the girl who won the contest to perform with justin timberlake did a really good job. she was oh so confident. and, i think that justin was nice to her - instead of dancing off all over the stage, he stayed right by her and the camera was therefore on her almost the whole time. it's everything i would want for my first appearance at the grammys. i'll be recreating that moment next year.

i missed my bus today. that's why i'm here blogging right now. i feel guilty when i get to work late, but i planned out part of my day and how i'm going to start work on some important projects while i was out walking emmy...so that counts as working, right? just as good as being there. better to be at home thinking about something productive than sitting at work with a blank mind wishing i were at home. right?

my uncle stopped by our house while we were at work last week and dropped off a late christmas present. it's a book called "girls". i skimmed the inside cover and learned it was about twins. i was pretty excited to read what the jacket said was a great book about twins. it turns out that the twins are conjoined twins. it might turn out to be a really, really great book, and i'm not saying that there should not be novels written about conjoined twins, but i feel like every newish book i read lately that is supposed to be about just plain life has to have some really unusual twist to it. they're all about ordinary people in semi-extraordinary circumstances. like this one i just read about twins (twins again - weird) who were separated at birth because one had downs syndrome and it was the 60s and her dad gave her away and she was raised by a nurse and how her family falls apart because of it. it was kind of a good book at times. but i feel like some of the books that get a lot of buzz lately have to have some sort of edgy concept. i would be interested in reading a book about regular, boring old twins. or families that aren't dysfunctional and people that don't do drugs or die. maybe that's why i decided to read the oh so wholesome and "regular" anne of the island this weekend. but i'm sure i'll end up reading "girls" too. i'll probably really like it and then maybe i'll regret everything i've said. i like getting books as gifts.

well, time to get ready to catch bus #2.

you're perspiring!

2007-02-10T15:26:00.000-08:00

so maybe right now i'm not lounging but instead filing papers in the office. it's probably because brad is working on replacing the disgusting toilet that was in our downstairs bathroom when we moved in and laying a new floor there. the solo lounging was making me feel a little bit guilty, so i moved on to filing.

yesterday i had something potentially super embarrassing happen. one of my coworkers (alicia) is in the hospital due to some issues with her pregnancy, so another coworker (shannon) and i went to visit her. we were in alicia's room, just talking and visiting. alicia's husband was there too. the room was really, really hot. and there was an IV in her arm, and the nurse came in and made some adjustments to it. as you may recall, i don't like needles, things that remain in the skin when they don't belong there, or the anticipation of pain. so the hot room, plus all of the medical happenings, resulted in me almost fainting twice. i used to faint fairly often. not OFTEN, but predictably, once a year or so. but i haven't fainted for i think four years. but we were in that super hot room, and i was standing up for a really long time, and then, like a huge, sensitive baby, i realized how hot i was, and that i was really, really dizzy, and i knew, OMG, i'm going to faint!

but i didn't really want to do it in front of people who a) i don't know especially well or who b) were experiencing and dealing with genuine medical problems. so i said, "i'm going to go make a phone call real quick!" and i raced out, dizzily, into the hall. no one was around. i went around the corner to sort of hide myself, and i collapsed on the ground. not a FAINTING collapse. but i knew i had to sit down and put my head down. so i did. but what i really wanted to do was lie down, so i sort of leaned over on my side. i really, really wanted to throw up, but i didn't know where to find a bathroom except in alicia's room, and i just felt like, NO, i will not faint and throw up in the room of someone who is hospitalized for genuine medical reasons. so i held it together. i was really, really sweaty. and i just lay there in the hallway for probably five or ten minutes. it was ridiculous. i don't know if it was being at the hospital or what that made me feel fainty. i didn't think i was quite that big of a baby, but maybe i am.

eventually i felt better. (i felt miserable for a long time - i think actually fainting and throwing up would have actually made me feel a lot better, but what can you do?) so i went back to alicia's room, where shannon announced, "you're perspiring!" awesome. but they just thought it was because the room was hot. i sat down right away and remainined there until i thought we were going to leave. but then, after i had gotten up and we were headed out the door, they just kept talking and talking for AGES. and then i realized, oh my gosh, too much standing, i'm going to faint again! somehow i made it out into the hallway, and shannon and i were walking along, me with my head spinning and feeling very pukey, when i told her, "um, i think i need to sit down. i'm not feeling too well." really, i don't know how i string normal sentences together when i'm about to faint, because my insides feel insane, but somehow i seem to do it. so i sat in the hallway again and put my head down again and felt like an idiot again. but shannon was very nice and got me a cup of water and then took me to arby's and bought me a sandwich. if she thought i was a freak and a baby, she didn't let on.

i have since become very concerned that when erin gives birth in june and we go to visit her in the hospital, i will faint. i also realized that i should not join the cast of lost or grey's anatomy because i could not handle the blood and general gruesomeness, fake or otherwise.

lounging

2007-02-10T13:52:00.000-08:00

when i make a goal for myself, i kind of like to decimate it. i like to beat the goal to a pulp just to prove i can. i don't think that's necessarily a good thing. but i've been really running a lot lately to try and meet my new year's goal of running 1000 miles in 2007. except that i realized that if i ran over 20 miles per week, i could decimate that goal, and i've been trying to. i knew my mileage was not so hot this week so today i went out and ran 11 miles. it was really kind of nice, because it was so much easier than it used to be when i'd run longer distances. i'm faster and stronger, which makes it much more enjoyable. plus, i loaded up my ipod with podcasts which made everything go much faster. i really like relevant magazine's weekly podcast. and i've been listening to the scrubs weekly podcast a lot lately too. that show is so funny.

what was not nice about running today, or doing anything outside lately, is that the world is a big pile of fog, mist, slush, and mud. when i got back from running, i was filthy. when i walked emmy today, she ended up with mud droplets over every inch of her lower self. gross. and it makes me feel gloomy, sometimes, and like my life is stuck in a rut. but what i think is actually stuck in a rut is THE WEATHER. so what it all comes down to is, i am so ready for spring. or at least daylight savings, which is coming way early this year! victory.

brad and i are supposed to go and eat a very delicious meal at the mustard seed tonight with friends like autumn and ross and christy, which i am very excited about. i love going out to eat. and here's how i plan on spending my saturday otherwise:
1. reading. i don't have anything super exciting and new to read right now, so i may be rereading "anne of the island". anne of green gables grows up and goes to college. then she marries gilbert blythe and gets married and he becomes a doctor and she raises six children in a very charming early twentieth century canadian community. but all of that takes course over eight books. today she'll just go to college.
2. lounging and semi-napping on the couch.
3. watching episodes from veronica mars, season one. the best season in my opinion. it's such a good show!
4. watching chocoholic weekend shows on the food network. i think i'm going to make molten chocolate cakes this week.

as you can see, i've got a very busy day ahead of me, so i have to get to it.

the anticipation

2007-01-24T19:43:00.000-08:00

my crane wife, my crane wife.....

i'm listening to the crane wife 1 & 2 by the decemberists right now. it totally changed my mood about what i wanted to write about today. earlier i thought i wanted to blog about various things, and now i just want to sit still and listen. but i think i'm getting in the swing of things now. just had to build up a little momentum.

i'm afraid of pain. i was thinking about this tonight while i was walking emmy. she's still a puppy (barely! can you believe she's almost a year old???) and learning to be a good walker, so she gets treats when she's in the right place (next to me on my right side). she loves treats. sometimes she bites my fingers, accidentally i think, and it really hurts. on more than one occasion i've come home and found out that my thumb was actually bleeding. there are a couple of tiny blood spots on my super cute green down coat from costco (yes, it is a little girls coat, thank you). so that really hurts. i think i deal with pain pretty well when it's actually happening. but the thought of pain, the anticipation, really freaks me out. i hate getting shots. i've never given blood. i'm such a wuss. i should go get a physical before i go to build houses in tijuana this year, because i haven't had a tetanus shot in ages and i think my hepatits is way out of date too. who even knows what shots i'm supposed to have anymore. but i'm scared! i wish someone could just surprise me with a shot when i'm not looking. giving blood is a whole other story - things piercing my skin and remaining there for MINUTES on end really creep me out. so gross. so disturbing. the thought of an IV makes me cringe.

we're having a blood drive at work tomorrow but i'm not participating. are you shocked? i should make an effort to get over it, but for now i'm just going to be a baby.

very exciting present

2007-01-19T17:14:00.000-08:00

hello! thanks for the replies to previous blogs, everyone, specifially the last one. i would like to have learned another language as well. any language at all. if they don't start doing a better job of teaching kids languages when they're young, i hope that somehow i might be able to give my children some bilingual friends to learn from. that would be nice.

i got a very exciting present for christmas. it's the nike+ipod thing. apparently i don't know the official name. or maybe that's it. but it's a little device that you plug into your ipod, and a sensor that goes in your shoe, that uses a combination of, i believe, a pedometer and GPS to track your mileage. it will also tell you your speed, how many calories you've burned, etc. brad got it for me and it think it's very exciting. but i've used it a few times and the distances have been way off, which is so aggravating. the other day i ran 8 miles and my ipod said i ran 6.5. lie! and it happened a couple of times after that. i think that the sensor might not be attached tightly enough to my shoe. i hope i can get it to work right, or at least, get it to work so that if it can't be accurate, it can at least skew things in my favor. if it had said i ran 9 miles, i probably would have found it flattering.

i am really really into running right now. if you had told me in junior high or high school that i would someday be running as much as i am, i would have been awed and amazed. there was not much that made me feel worse about myself than running. i got the reddest face, had the slowest times, and felt like i might die every time i went. but as it turns out, i think that was mostly due to me being in terrible physical shape. i still get the red face, but it feels good, i'm much more energetic, i feel more confident, and i sleep a lot better. i'm not even exaggerating those claims for stereotypicalness' sake. it's just true. it turns out that i love exercise. who knew??

second-rate billing

2007-01-13T17:14:00.000-08:00

so here's a question: why does my head hurt so much right now?? it's really annoying. i decided that i'm going to clean out our whole house, room by room, one room per weekend. i wanted to work on the office today. but my head is so irritating that i'm just going to do a little hint of blogging for now. it's a three day weekend anyway, so what's the rush? and, no one is actually requiring me to do this project. i just really like to be organized. i'm not actually that organized of a person, which is probably why i admire organization so much. i want my life to be like a real simple magazine, where everything looks good, is in a the right place, and gets the job done. actually, that's not what i want my life to be like. that sounds too regulated and simplified for any kind of real life. real life requires a good amount of chaos to be worth anything, i think. but that is what i want my house to be like. someday, maybe...probably not though. unless i get rich and hire a housekeeper.

here's a question for the day. this will prove once and for all that no one really reads my blog, which is fine. but the question is, if you could go back to childhood and learn one thing that you don't know how to do now, what would it be? for me, it would be playing a string instrument. specifically the violin, or cello. or the viola, although i have a limited knowledge of violas except that i think they get sort of second-rate billing in orchestras and stuff. is that even true? if you could learn something new and have developed it as a child, what would you choose, and why?

TOTAL, UTTER, SHAMEFUL FAILURE!

2007-01-03T18:39:00.000-08:00

i found my new year's resolution list from last year. contrary to what the length of the list might indicate, i'm not even someone who really, really believes in the new year as a great time for new beginnings or anything like that. mostly i think i just like lists. and goals. last year was kind of a mixed bag of failures, successes, and things i completely forgot about. read and learn!

cook one new recipe a week
SUCCESS! i don't think i technically cooked one new recipe every single week, but i definitely made two or even three new things some weeks, and rarely didn't make anything new. so, when averaged out, i am victorious.

eat more slowly
FAILURE! after the first week of january, i don't think i ever thought about this brilliant idea again.

do some sort of flexibility training weekly
FAILURE! i get a lot of aerobic exercise, and i do some strength training, but i am pretty lazy about stretching, and i sit for extended periods every day at my computer and might be on my way to hunchbackland. i took a six week yoga class last january and february and that was a SUCCESS, but after that, FAILURE prevailed.

complain less
FAILURE! this is something i really should have worked on, but i forgot.

buy a house
SUCCESS! put that in your pipe and smoke it!

get a dog
SUCCESS! we got my favorite dog of all time, emmy. or mrs. emmy, as she prefers to be called.

give money regularly
SEMI SUCCESS! we've finally started to consistently (monthly) give money to a few things we really care about, such as duncan, our kenyan compassion child, blood:water mission, and the inn. i'm adding the 'semi' because we got a lot better at this later in the year, and there's always more to do. but i feel glad about what we're doing so far.

learn to drive a stick
UTTER FAILURE! i really really really need to learn how to do this, because brad's car is a stick and it's ridiculous that i can't drive it. and how are we ever going to win the amazing race if i don't learn? this must be added to my list for 2007.

find a way to love my work
SEMI SUCCESS! "love" might be too strong a word for my current work situation, but i am pleased to announce that it is approximately 574398574839578439 times better than my last one.

run a marathon
FAILURE! but i didn't really mean it when i said i wanted to do that last year. i want to in life. but i know that i want to have a running partner before i commit to a marathon, and until that happens, i'm not really set on this goal. i really shouldn't have put it on last year's list. i won't be fooled again in 2007.

do some house chore every day
SUCCESS! little did i know that only in our apartment did i have the luxury of not feeling obligated to do housework on a daily basis. a grown up homeowner like myself had no chance to fail at this resolution. especially one with a constantly shedding dog and a dark red area rug.

publish two issues of Awesome Times
TOTAL, UTTER, SHAMEFUL FAILURE! i wish i had honestly tried to do this, but i didn't at all. but with my current knowledge of microsoft office and other helpful software, should the newsletter ever have articles submitted again, i think i could publish them much more efficiently. if any of you Awesome Times writers are reading this now, i am accepting articles.

to sum up...
4 SUCCESS!
4 FAILURE!
1 UTTER FAILURE!
1 TOTAL, UTTER, SHAMEFUL FAILURE!
2 SEMI SUCCESS!

not so bad overall, for someone who knows they got a little carried away in their list-making. with six on the success side and six on the failure side, i'd say 2006 was a total wash. a moot point. actually, i think i did a good job. huzzah again.