you're perspiring!

so maybe right now i'm not lounging but instead filing papers in the office. it's probably because brad is working on replacing the disgusting toilet that was in our downstairs bathroom when we moved in and laying a new floor there. the solo lounging was making me feel a little bit guilty, so i moved on to filing.

yesterday i had something potentially super embarrassing happen. one of my coworkers (alicia) is in the hospital due to some issues with her pregnancy, so another coworker (shannon) and i went to visit her. we were in alicia's room, just talking and visiting. alicia's husband was there too. the room was really, really hot. and there was an IV in her arm, and the nurse came in and made some adjustments to it. as you may recall, i don't like needles, things that remain in the skin when they don't belong there, or the anticipation of pain. so the hot room, plus all of the medical happenings, resulted in me almost fainting twice. i used to faint fairly often. not OFTEN, but predictably, once a year or so. but i haven't fainted for i think four years. but we were in that super hot room, and i was standing up for a really long time, and then, like a huge, sensitive baby, i realized how hot i was, and that i was really, really dizzy, and i knew, OMG, i'm going to faint!

but i didn't really want to do it in front of people who a) i don't know especially well or who b) were experiencing and dealing with genuine medical problems. so i said, "i'm going to go make a phone call real quick!" and i raced out, dizzily, into the hall. no one was around. i went around the corner to sort of hide myself, and i collapsed on the ground. not a FAINTING collapse. but i knew i had to sit down and put my head down. so i did. but what i really wanted to do was lie down, so i sort of leaned over on my side. i really, really wanted to throw up, but i didn't know where to find a bathroom except in alicia's room, and i just felt like, NO, i will not faint and throw up in the room of someone who is hospitalized for genuine medical reasons. so i held it together. i was really, really sweaty. and i just lay there in the hallway for probably five or ten minutes. it was ridiculous. i don't know if it was being at the hospital or what that made me feel fainty. i didn't think i was quite that big of a baby, but maybe i am.

eventually i felt better. (i felt miserable for a long time - i think actually fainting and throwing up would have actually made me feel a lot better, but what can you do?) so i went back to alicia's room, where shannon announced, "you're perspiring!" awesome. but they just thought it was because the room was hot. i sat down right away and remainined there until i thought we were going to leave. but then, after i had gotten up and we were headed out the door, they just kept talking and talking for AGES. and then i realized, oh my gosh, too much standing, i'm going to faint again! somehow i made it out into the hallway, and shannon and i were walking along, me with my head spinning and feeling very pukey, when i told her, "um, i think i need to sit down. i'm not feeling too well." really, i don't know how i string normal sentences together when i'm about to faint, because my insides feel insane, but somehow i seem to do it. so i sat in the hallway again and put my head down again and felt like an idiot again. but shannon was very nice and got me a cup of water and then took me to arby's and bought me a sandwich. if she thought i was a freak and a baby, she didn't let on.

i have since become very concerned that when erin gives birth in june and we go to visit her in the hospital, i will faint. i also realized that i should not join the cast of lost or grey's anatomy because i could not handle the blood and general gruesomeness, fake or otherwise.