Anybody?

My rule for the rest of the summer (a.k.a. the few weeks I have left to draft essays for my thesis before school starts): I will not panic. So far, my approach to thesis writing is the same as my approach to most important and complex things requiring careful thinking mixed with bursts of creativity. Things which will ultimately be evaluated based on their quality. My pattern: thinking about big things that need to get done, deciding that it’s really unlikely that I can ever do them justice in the time allotted, procrastinating because the potential for failure or mediocrity is just too great, making some un-thoughtful, blind stabs at work that I end up tossing, feeling confirmed in my fears of mediocrity because my panic-induced attempts have turned out poorly, spending a lot of time moping about the fact that I'm not getting anything done, making lists of ways to start getting things done, worrying more about how badly things could all turn out if I don't hurry up and finally do something, repeat, repeat, repeat.

And then: in the last little smidgen of an inch of time remaining, I buckle down and rapidly turn out exactly the necessary amount of work, and whatever I was supposed to do turns out just fine, or better. Just IMAGINE what would happen if I would use all of that time for thinking and daydreaming or playing or brainstorming or praying or pondering instead of worrying and mulling and psyching myself out.




PS: This post is not intended to be a pity party. I'm just thinking. And I'm assuming I'm not the only one out there like this. :) This emoticon welcomes you to Procrastination Nation.